We are Back!

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association have not abandoned our beliefs, and still thankfully exult the guidelines of true female submission. A humble servant to her husband and family who doesn't subvert his natural authority. What has occurred was a distinct shift in focus away from this "blog" and a renewed focus on what was always most important in our lives -- namely the Men we so willingly serve. Some of us share the view that the men in our life owns everything, including our clothing and are freely able to dictate what we wear. If certain colors or styles please them, or make us appear more attractive to the men in our lives, then we will wear it.

As masters of their castles, we strive to keep their homes neat, organized and always look to them for helpful suggestions to better service their ever evolving needs. We offer service to anyone they invite into their home with a smile and put as much effort into their comfort as we do our men. We believe in many ways we were purchased by our men for this purpose, with as much thought as they place on the vehicles they drive or the homes they allow us to live in. In most cases we came our father's home with very little, save for a trousseau and only if approved by him. Everything else came from our husband, maybe his family, and we gladly accept this. They continue to mold us into the women they most wish us to become. If they are religious we adopt their belief system. We do not impose anything from our previous life, beliefs or ideals our father's held, with us.

Publicly we might refer to our husband as "daddy" as both a show of respect, while acknowledging that we are much like children and rather incapable of handling certain situations without becoming emotionally involved. We hold that we are different from males, especially in this regard and seriously prone to flawed thinking as a result of it. Gladly our husbands do collectively control how our time is spent, what we are allowed to watch and how we behave. Some employ physical corrections, while others cleverly employ other methods, such as standing in a corner, or filling our mouths with honey and telling us to hold it, so we remember that while silence is preferred, but if we do speak, it should be said sweetly without trying to control or manipulate him in any way.

In conclusion, we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association remain respectful and cognizant that not everyone (especially our more zealous feminists sisters) may not agree with our base tenets of submission and servitude to the men in our lives. We respectfully agree to disagree, and to fill our mouths honey and remember that sweetness is preferred. We remain bound to our men and continue to serve them and we are grateful to them for allowing us to express our collective thoughts on matters of import here. Look for some new content as well as some older content updated with some fresh tips for gracious living.

Ask Him, Do not Tell

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe firmly in male led relationships. Our readers often send us links to other "Stepford" communities and ask for our opinion. One we girls read recently had us laughing out loud.

When asking your man for permission to do something, you actually need to ask. Not tell him, you're going to it in a sneaky way by saying something like, 'I’m considering going out, when is a good time you’d like me to be back?”'

Some women quite wrongly believe that couching a "question" with the word 'thinking' or in this case 'considering' makes it easier or softens the blow. Make no mistake that the wife really saying this, "I'm going out". The only thing she's actually asking her man is what time does she need to be back. It's sneaky and subversive, ultimately telling her man that his control only extends to what she feels comfortable with.

How should a proper Stepford Wife handle this? First there should be no emergency trips to the grocery store because a real Stepford wife has all that organized. However, lets suggest that something is wrong with an ingredient. You open that package of chicken and it smells off.

You go to your man and apologize that the chicken you got isn't safe to cook, then you ask your man what you shouid do. He might suggest that you defrost a steak instead. Don't tell him that you're going to the store, would he like you to pick something up while you're out. Again, this isn't asking, but telling him. A good Stepford Wife should ask.

If a girlfriend calls you and asks you to an afternoon of lunch and shopping, you say to her first you'll have to ask your husband.

You begin this conversation with, 'Sir, Melanie phoned about possibly going to lunch and some shopping on Saturday at 12:30pm, would it be okay?' This leaves it up to your man. He has information about who you'll be seeing when you'll be leaving where roughly you're going.

If he likes 'Melanie' and doesn't find her a negative influence, he might reply with "yes". Then you ask the follow up questions. What time would you like me home by? What shouid I eat for lunch and how much shouid I plan on spending? And then ask if you can buy anything. It's actually ok to remind him about upcoming events (like his brother's wedding), that a good sale might be useful for some purchases. In any event, you know how much you can spend on lunch, a good idea of what to order, if you can buy anything or if you're just window shopping, and what time to return home.

if he responds with "no" thank him and telephone 'Melanie' back explaining that you can't make it.

We at the (real) Stepford Wives Association do believe in humble submission to our husbands and eschew the faux submission promoted by closeted women's libbers, under the guise of pretending to be submissive. We believe in showing and demonstrating class in an increasingly lacking world.

 

My Daughter Wants to be a Stepford Wife

That was the title of an email a member received recently. The person went on to berate them, because they reposted a not-to-recent post from this journal on Facebook. It led them to our journal and was the reason for the unflattering email. Why should this be an issue anyway?

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, would be pleased to have our daughters follow in our footsteps. Often we do worry they might be misled by shiny promises of becoming the next CEO or even political leader. We do not believe that women cannot be leaders, we simply believe they should not be leaders and support the men in their lives.

More and more women are learning how fulfilling allowing a man to lead can be. We have learned while we might possess many of the skill sets to be in control, we aren't comfortable being in powerful positions and crumble under the pressure. Men, we understand are much more comfortable with power, and do not crumble so easily.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly that female submission isn't horrible and being labeled a Stepford wife isn't a burden. It's what we were born to do.

Etiquette

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, believe strongly in wholesome family values. Our husbands lead the home and we couldn't be happier to exist under their thumb. They might seem heavy-handed or even harsh. We do not see them that way in the least. In fact, we welcome their often critical views and adopt their world view as our own.

We dress, not for other women or our church; we dress for our men and if our men love to see our cleavage it's for them. We do not worry that we are inviting temptation or leers of strangers. The idea that men are unable to control their desires is something we find ridiculous. So the woman who cover their bodies in ugly jumpers and wear leggings for modesty so they don't accidentally show a leg is equally silly in our view. We dress for our husbands PERIOD!

On occasion we are invited to "women-only" events or parties and we must RSVP, as required by social norms and rules of etiquette. Social norms have changed greatly since our mother and grandmother's day. Things that were once shunned are rather commonplace -- like people living together without marriage or having babies out of wedlock. Generally, we take these with a case-by-case approach. What goes on with consenting adults is none of our concern.

Today, the lines are blurred and we are often stymied as to what is appropriate. Recently speaking, a few of us were invited to a baby shower for a sixteen year old girl. The proud papa has already given up his future parental rights and the girl has decided to keep her baby. The Grandmother-to-be is hosting the shower. We were torn as to what to do. Do we simply attend and pretend this is something to be happy about? The wish-list is completely outrageous as well. The girl wants her mother's well-meaning friends and family to outfit the whole nursery, complete with top-of-the-line accessories. This still wet-behind-the-ears, never worked a day in her life girl also wants money to continue her education.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives applaud the right to choose! If this girl were an older young woman, with a job or at least a college degree, we would offer our support. If she were getting married, we would offer our support. Just because we remain supportive of choice doesn't mean we must pander to everyone else. The girl in question decided not to abort and that was her choice -- she also rather selfishly decided to keep her baby and try to play house by raising it herself. Another choice.

The best thing for this baby would be adoption and not the kind of adoption where the birth mother strings along an adoptive parent to care for her child until she decides when the baby is no longer a baby to take the child back. No, an adoption where the child is placed -- and it is done quickly so that the teenager can move forward with her life.

We each sent our regrets to the shower in question and it's doubtful our lack of presence was noticed. We did send a gift after the baby was born -- the grandmother sent out announcements. We do wish that young baby-mother the very best -- but we cannot condone this. We celebrate the baby -- not the mother.

 

Seen but Never Heard

We at The (real) Stepford Wvies Association believe our husbands are entitled to whatever they wish -- we suppose what they most often crave is quiet. It is incumbent upon us to spend most of time waiting to be useful to them and not be a bother. Idle chatter is distracting for our husbands. They spend hours of the day dealing with things we simply cannot comprehend but we also must adapt and learn to curb our enthusiasm when they return home.

Sometimes we do have important things to share with them, but the reality is most days those things can wait. It's important and we cannot stress this enough to spend plenty of time looking our best. We should be eye candy and not flapping away about something trivial.

When we are escorted by our husband out for an evening, we proudly shine like a bauble for their pleasure. When we serve our husbands dinner, we do so much like a good maid would. Quietly! And we take it rather personally when we leave something out, we know they would ask for. We make no excuses or yell that we know or it's coming -- but we apologize and quickly get the missing item.

During outtings with our husbands we remain quiet and wait for them to speak to us. We are always free to ask questions or make a request -- such as on a hot day to ask for water, but we do always try to see to their needs before our own. We arrange things the way they like them -- for example in restaurants it's common for the table to be cluttered -- we remove those things to an adjacent table if we know our husbands will not touch them.

My husband will often order iced tea with lunch -- I immediately when the waiter brings it, begin adding the sweetener he likes and squeeze the lemon. Then I serve it to him. Same with coffee at the end of the meal -- it is placed the way he likes it by me.

Remaining quiet is difficult, yet it's also rewarding because it makes our husbands very happy and proud. We always want them to be proud. Endless prattle is not how we gain their approval. We gain it through our silence and submission.

 

Mrs Peter Lowenstein

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly that marriage is a wonderful institution. When we married our husbands we were no longer simply "Becki Jones" or 'Stefanie Goodhead' we became Mrs. Peter Lowenstein and Mrs Barnaby Singleton. We are proud of our husbands names and wear them proudly. Their monogram is our own. Some years ago a major department chain announced they would,refer to guests as Mr or Ms., and this was met with a public outcry.

We would argue fervently the chain was correct sales clerks do no know us personally and referring to us by our first name alone is a bit too personal. Some groups said the idea was antiquated and terribly out of date. Let us make something clear, they only reason they know our names at all is because they got them off our credit card. They didn't ask for friendship and we aren't looking for a friend either. We are there simply to shop.

We went to our husbands and asked for their thoughts on this distressing subject. Their personal approach was varied. Some insisted on giving their wives cash for daily purchases, while others took a different approach instead reordering all the cards in their name only. When paying, they sign add the obligatory "Mrs" to their name on the receipt. Occasionally this was met with opposition. Banks and card issuers didn't care much for this approach -- and it can cause problems for our husbands as well -- if the credit number is corrupted, the issuer can say that he somehow authorized an illegal purchase. It simply creates more problems than its worth.

The best way this is handled is to carry cash for mundane purchases while our husband's provide escort for larger purchases that require a card. This also assures that our husbands approve of the purchase. it's a win! No longer are we plagued by pesky sales people towing the corporate line under the guise of being "friendly".

It solidifies the fact that our name is really their name and we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association wouldn't want it any other way!

 

Sisterhood

 

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association cheerfully, recognize the importance of sisterhood in maintaining our husbands authority over us. We take great comfort in the fact that so many other people share our views.

We help each other remain on task. We discuss new and exciting ways of pleasing our husbands. We can discuss with equal freedom the times we stumble and fail in our lofty aspirations. We have all failed at one time to mindfully hold our tongues. We have encroached on their territory. We have spoken out of turn.

While we admit these failings we also renew a promise to try harder. To keep our homes spotless, to love our husbands without placing societal demands or restrictions on them. In return our husbands offer their respect and protection freely. We submit to our husband's authority not because we're old fashioned but because they deserve our submission.

Spring is the time of renewals and fresh starts and we applaud all our readers and fellow sisters in Stepford, who faithfully companion us on our continued journey.

 

How to: Stepford

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association feel strongly that providing a quiet home when our husbands return home from work is of utmost import. Before what we refer to as "zero" hour, we take a few moments first to make certain dinner is under control, our home is tidy, table set and his favorite beverage is chilled and waiting for him. During the shortened days of winter, we make sure our foyer is lit, porch light is on, soft lights or candles are lit (unscented only dears -- dinner and you should be the best smelling things in the house).

After our 'ducks are lined up,' we dash upstairs to retouch our makeup, ask nicely that children wash up for dinner. Sometimes we have been known to change our clothing, apply a dab of perfume, fix our hair, etc. the reality is this should only take a few minutes. We also slip into our sexy shoes.

Back in the kitchen, we keep the meal hot, listening carefully for the sound of the lock hitting the door.

When he arrives, we greet him warmly with his beverage. We help him off with his coat, take his briefcase and put those things away. If he asks any questions, "what's for dinner," we smile and answer him warmly. We always let him know how long before the meal. We freshen his drink, help him out of shoes, replacing them with his slippers. We keep the house quiet, we never discuss our day. We do ask them about their day. If the reply is a grumble we instantly let them know how thrilled we are to see them and have them home. We do not gush over them.

If dinner is more than a few minutes away, we offer our husbands an appetizer. Something to nibble on while they relax.

We serve them dinner, we do not worry about our meal, they always come first.

After dinner, we make sure our husbands are settled. Then we quietly begin to clean up, listening carefully in case they need us.

If our husband invites us to sit, we do and listen intently to whatever he wishes to share. If he mentions a coworker's birthday we offer to purchase a gift and card, or to bake a cake. If those are refused, we still make note of the day to remind him. There might be a social obligation coming up or an important meeting where he might need something cleaned.

If he wishes to simply unload about his day, we listen actively. When he's finished we offer to refill his beverage, hand him the remote control or whatever would please him and discretely and above all quietly, return to our chores. Depending on his mood, if there is something that does require their attention, it can be brought up, only after he is finished saying what he needs to say. Ask permission and don't just dive in with a laundry list of 'honey do' projects. Mention the one or two, which are most important or urgent. The rest can simply wait.

We go to bed, when our husbands do and dress for bed in whatever brings them the most pleasure. We open ourselves to our husbands for their pleasure only. If they are too exhausted from their day to make love, it is our job to offer alternatives, such as oral pleasures or being on top.

It is very important they are in control of the sexual act. Even if we are on top of them, they control the speed and how we move to maximize their pleasure -- not our own selfish pleasures. We have no sexual needs to be met and we feel most fulfilled and satisfied when they are happy and content.

To Thine Own Self...

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, understand thoroughly that we can only control our behavior and influence our children's behavior. We cannot control other adults in our lives. This includes our girlfriends, sisters, family and above all else, our husbands. We spend our energies on things, which are important to us. We clean, we cook, we run errands and we are there for our husbands -- because this is what matters. We do not have careers outside the home -- and we do not look down on those who do (please extend us a similar courtesy). Our homes are our careers and our life experiences come not from the evening news, but from our own backyard.

It is not that we don't care about the outside world, but there really isn't much we could do to effect change. Angry letters to politicians and political pundits will only get us so far. We instead devote ourselves to the things we can achieve -- rather than unobtainable pie-in-the-sky dreams. We can and do achieve a clean house, relatively germ and allergen free, we help to raise thoughtful children who are courteous. We are blessed to live in nice homes...why shouldn't they shine? Our husbands work very hard to provide for us a good life. We are not wealthy. We believe in being frugal with money and live within our means. Our husbands set the standard and the budget and we never question his purchases.

We cannot be responsible for what our husbands think, we are not in anyway accountable for their actions. We are only accountable for our own, which are defined by them!

Our homes are our domaine and our famiy's sanctuary, which we strive to make it comfortable. We dress only for our husbands, some of whom pick out our clothing. We put on makeup, fix our hair and wear perfume, even if we do not leave our homes. Before our husbands return home from work, we do make a point to freshen up our appearance. We also take a few minutes to tidy the house. Our husbands certainly appreciate the efforts.

When we do need to leave our homes, we only do so with our husband's expressed permission. When we shop, we move slowly through the store and neatly arrange items into our cart. We are to never appear rushed or harried. You will absolutely never ever find one of us running through a store in our pj's tossing items into the basket.

We offer our husbands sexual pleasure on their schedule alone. When they want it, we open ourselves up to them. Orgasm is their right, not ours. Do not misunderstand this, our husbands want us sexually satisfied, but they do not worry about it. If it happens for us, wonderful but it is our purpose to give them the pleasure they deserve.

We enjoy pleasing our husbands orally and do not expect it to be reciprocal. We prepare healthful meals, with our husband's dietary needs placed first, then those of our children. Some might lament, how unfair! We disagree with that philosophy, because our needs fall squarely in between them.

An Exercise in Patience

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe whole-heartily in real world examples of why we came to live the Stepford way. While some might "cherry pick" ideals they find repulsive or that go against the grain of their feminist beliefs, if they carefully read through these pages they will have a deeper understanding of how we have chosen to live our lives.

One exercise we found terribly useful was to write down, physically putting pen to paper, 5 ways we tried to control our husbands.

After we asked them to answer the following for each, what would happen if you suddenly gave up control on each of those things? What would happen? Would the world stop revolving? Well, we agree that would not be the outcome -- but the question remains what is the worst thing that would happen? How do you think your husband feels when you correct him or nag him?

Once you recognize this is really about fears, terrifying and often debilitating fear, you begin to gain the courage to face your fears. Let go slowly each of those things on your list. Begin apologizing when you catch yourself doing them (remember girls Rome wasn't built in a day).

Next write down what were the qualities that you husband possessed during your courtship that made you wish to marry him the first place? Did you go into the marriage with the notion that he'd be perfect once you changed him?

If the answer is yes, then we have nothing further to discuss -- you may stop reading content in your superior knowledge; please continue emasculating your husband since it allows you to feel better about yourself.

However if by chance you married your husband without the intent to change him, but simply lost your way and want to change the behavior then these pages are for you.

Earlier this year while meeting a good friend for coffee, as I listened carefully to my friend's lamentations about her husband. It seemed she was concerned with leaving the baby home alone With her husband. Because, you know, he's a man and stupid. As I listened it occurred to me that it could have been me saying this. What was the worst thing that could happen? The child's meal might be late? The diaper might explode? The truth is she was simply afraid of letting go of her control. She had the upper hand in their relationship or at least that part of it. But with all that concern and worry, she was denying herself a carefree afternoon.

Most women control their husbands because they're afraid their needs will go unmet.

When I pointed this out to her, she scoffed. But a week or so later, she phoned me, and wanted to meet again. We met with some of our Stepford sisters, and discussed freely our ideals. I believe it was Mrs Lowenstein who pointed out that she will never know what my friend's husband is capable of, until she let go of her fear and find out, by sitting back. She went on to explain she'll never know the man she married, unless she stops controlling and manipulating outcomes.

In the end, my friend discovered that she could better meet her own needs, when she let go of trying to control her husband. Now this friend has immersed herself into the Stepford way of life. Her home is cleaner, her children happier and husband more fulfilled. Her needs are now easily met. She learned that when she dominated her husband, it ebbed her fears and made her feel safe. Taking the time to give up that control, she learned her husband could indeed protect her.

For her birthday, her husband purchased a diamond earrings. Completely on his own without her advice, something he would never have dared to do before.

How and Why the Stepford Way Works

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, learned early on what we needed to do, foster the confidence back into our husbands, which we ourselves were responsible for damaging. When we decided and became determined to change our lives and those of our husbands, it began in small steps. The first was suppressing the need to simply take over a task. Once my husband was hanging a shelf. He had approached the activity in a way that made sense to him. Now, in my old days I might have attempted to correct him. To tell him flat out he was doing it wrong. To take over. After all, I had hung shelves myself.

In the end, despite my misgivings the shelf was indeed fine, perfectly level. He'd just had a different process for getting a similar result.

The first step in the way of the Stepford wife way is to when you roll your eyes, which is very unbecoming, apologize at once. If you begin to criticize your husband for any reason, stop and apologize. Tell him why your sorry. "I apologize for trying to tell you (how to hang the shelf, help your child with homework, how he handles the finances)...."

Next you carefully listen to his reply.

Now the urge to validate your criticism...or to minimize it, will be strong by saying, "It's just I've hung shelves before...Little Timmy is sensitive...it's just I pay all the bills on paydays."

Do not do this!

When you do that, you're being disrespectful again. And you'll have to apologize again. Listen carefully to his reply, then echo back what he says so he knows you heard him, and so it sinks into your own thick head. Don't add anything else and let it drop. If anyone must hear your complaints, let it be your sisters who understand that your husband is not some careless cad.

In our first meetings, the very women who would become my sisters in Stepford, discussed in some detail transgressions of our husbands -- well, to put it indelicately ridiculous behavior. One pulled down expensive window shades, hung them outside and used the garden hose to clean them. While they were indeed ruined, we reminded her this was the same man who waited on her hand and foot while she was pregnant and ordered on bed rest. After their child was born he would routinely walk the floors to give her a break. How could she hold a mistake, even an albeit costly mistake against him?

Errors and lapses in judgement are common with humans. Our husbands will often go about things in ways we simply would not dream.

What I learned in watching a close friend, was that she always deferred and demurred to her husband and allowed him to lead. Yet, it didn't degrade her relationship in the least, instead it fostered incredible intimacy. They had a level of intimacy that quite honestly made me jealous. Anytime we would get together I would pick her brain trying to understand how their relationship works.

What I learned from her I began to do in my own marriage. Instead of starting arguments I took the high road and ended them before they started by apologizing. What happened next, my husband began asking for my opinion, before he did something. Treating him with more respect for us meant letting go of my superior feelings toward him. It meant trusting him more and slowly him demonstrating how trustworthy he was.

Why it works is basic psychology, we give up control to gain power. Take the situation between our long-term sister in Stepford Mrs Bauor, who felt her husband so incompetent she felt the need to direct him from the moment he woke until he went to bed. Endlessly nagging him about what he wore, the route he picked to drive, where they parked the car, how he brushed his teeth, thee amount of money he spent on incidentals. Mrs Bauor was exhausted from controlling everything. Her husband had begun an affair with a younger woman -- certainly they were headed for divorce.

I introduced Mrs Bauor to Mrs Lowenstein, the two became fast friends, Mrs Bauor saw the way Mrs Lowenstein interacted with her own husband (they had recently married after a long courtship). Mrs Lowenstein stated simply, she never argued with her husband -- and learned long ago to let go of pettiness. Mrs Lowenstein suggested that Mrs Bauor stop at once the nagging and controlling behavior that was evidentially driving her husband away.

She began slowly, in small ways like one day she didn't set out his clothing or pick out his tie. She focused on her household and child rearing duties almost exclusively. She began to ask him about what he wanted to eat for meals and involved him more in the financial process -- until he mostly took it over. He began setting the budget for shopping -- because she asked him to.

He understood much more clearly how much money was being spent, and how much was wasted on things that did not matter. She learned in the process that he was far more responsible than she gave him credit for. Together they rekindled their romance, he ended the affair and together they saved their marriage.

Mommy Dearest

One of the most common questions asked to those of us in The (real) Stepford Wives Association is how did we decide to hand over control to our husbands. It started with noticing how our husbands reacted when we corrected them about, oh just about anything. Immediately without realizing we turned into their Mothers. At least that's how they saw us for a moment or three. It reminded them of their teen years. Even though they never outwardly complained about it, their reaction was to rather shut down. The reality we learned once our behavior stopped, was that they felt emasculated.

When we stopped correcting them, we noticed their personal confidence soared in most unexpected ways. When we corrected them, they felt defeated if only for a few minutes and reverted back to angry teens. They believed nothing they did was correct. They didn't think we trusted them to make good decisions -- just like their mothers.

The problem is the mothers did this out of strong maternal love -- no mother wants to see their child make mistakes. The urge to insulate their children from their own errors, some which are needed for growth. But what is our excuse for this behavior toward our husbands?

Before we stopped, our husbands collectively were spending many hours away from home (read: away from us). They would fritter away their time, on golf courses, at work, the gym, working on junker cars -- any place we were not.

The truth is we each married clever, capable men and when we stopped nagging, pestering and correcting them, they found renewed interest in us. We were again the women they married and vowed to spend their lives with.

Remember our men don't want to make love to their mothers. They wanted a woman who is respectful of their authority, where they can shine and where we shine along side them.

The Stepford Holiday

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe in the perfect holiday season. Our homes sparkle with tasteful decorations with our live tree as the center-piece. Our Christmas and holiday greeting cards were written, addressed and ready for mail on the 1st of December, complete with a photographic collage of memories. Each card is handwritten with a personal reflection to the recipient. We never ever use a computer (although we love our computers) letter generically filled with annual goings on. These, we feel not only are far too impersonal, tacky and lazy.

A personal message might be something, "It was wonderful spending time with you at our family reunion this year." and include something personal -- like about picking flowers or a meal prepared. It's far better to include a personal and individual message than to write to everyone on photocopied paper, we attended a family reunion -- it was fun.

Our homes get a once-over, cabinets cleared -- canned goods and other foods donated to worthy causes. Space is made for the goodies we bake daily during the season, betwix our cleaning and shopping schedules. We already put up our preserves, which can be used for homemade gifts, as well as family treats.

If you attend a holiday function at a friend or relative's home, we believe it is completely appropriate to not only bring a bottle of good wine, but also a basket of baked breakfast goods, such as muffins or scones. Now, the basket should be presented more discretely, for the hostess' eyes only. A day or so after the party, drop by the residence with a nice thank you note in hand; good taste should dictate the basket returned to you.

If, for any reason your husband disagrees, or wishes to keep your muffins for just yourselves, accept it as a lovely compliment and defer to his wishes.

In Public with our Husbands

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association enjoy nothing more than being out in public with our husbands. Usually the evening before our husbands will make mention of an outing. Our prep begins the evening before. We get everything organized. Depending on the outing or occasion we might pack a picnic basket with tea sandwiches, maybe fruit salad, some water for a typical daytime outing. While a evening out with our man might involve wearing sexy lingerie and his favorite sexy dress. Of course, we wear our pearl necklaces and perfume.

 

Whatever the occasion, our husbands lead us. If we say something careless we apologize at once. Our husbands set the tone, they determine where we go, what we eat, if we have a before dinner cocktail or appetizer (or both). When the appetizer (if our husband orders one) we always serve him first and wait to be invited to taste. We don't assume that it's allowed. When they entree arrives, we thank our husband first. Then we wait for permission to eat and match their eating. In other words, if our husbands eat quickly, we do as well. Most of the time they take their time.

 

There is no greater pleasure than to be out with our men!

Our Routine Part 2

After spending 1-2 hours preparing the meal, we freshen up before our husbands return home from work. We take a few moments to tidy and get children to set the table. We will also prepare a cocktail or refreshing beverage for our husbands to enjoy while we put together a quick appetizer of hummus, maybe some cucumber or tomato. Just a bite or two while we place the food into proper serving dishes.

Our husbands determine how much food goes on each plate. After the plates are cleaned, then the children can ask for a second helping. After dinner we clear the table and begin cleaning up. It might surprise many that often our husbands help out with directing the children to help out and some even assist in loading the dishwasher. We accept their help graciously.

After the little children and those with us who have babies, get them bathed and settled for the night, we begin to plan future meals. We make certain the next days meal is planned, and the meals for the next several days. We check progress on items that are defrosting and make certain it's progressing properly. After dark we light candles. Toss clutter. Make sure out husbands are happy.

When all is quiet we read. Cookbooks, cleaning books and decorating books. Our husbands decide when it's time for us to go to bed.

 

 

Submission

We at The (real) Stepford Wives believe completely and dedicate ourselves to our husbands authority. We exist in the role of help meet to them. We are happily subservient to their wishes. We are of various religious backgrounds and even have an atheist member. We all agree the Bible is chock full good advice, however it is not our guide. Our guide, at least to us, comes from common sense.

Our husbands control, and we're grateful they take such interest, in just about everything in our lives. We dress for them, the way we do our hair and the makeup we wear. If our nails are neatly manicured (toes too). One girl in our group made the mistake of being talked into having a flower painted on her big toes. Her husband wasn't pleased and let her know in no uncertain terms that would never happen again. What did she do? Why she apologized, of course! She didn't argue they were her toes and she could do whatever she wished with them. No she showed contrition and admitted that he was right. It wasn't worth starting an argument over.

When after witnessing an argument between her husband and their 18 year old son, another one of the girl's didn't interfere. After the argument, the son went to her complaining what a jerk his father was to his mom. She told him in no uncertain terms that his father cares and any good father hates to see his children make mistakes. His dad was head was head of the house and deserved some respect. After that she just turned and walked away, assured the chain of command was reinforced. The boy later went to his father, apologized and the matter was discussed in an adult way. Our friend likes to think her son learned a valuable lesson in conflict resolution, a skill that will do him well for the rest of his life.

Our submission is important not only to our husbands, but us and our families.

 

Being a Dad Does Not Equal Bungling

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Club are often ashamed of what we see on television, so much so we collectively decided not to watch it anymore. Our homes are quieter, there's far less excitement at the end of the busy day. When we do watch, we use it as a teaching tool to our youngsters. Sure Homer Simpson is funny, but he's a poor Dad role model. Like Peter Griffin, he's an idiot. But those are cartoons, yet our Tv history is rife with bungling Dad's. Even Father Knows Best was often shown, while he could give sound advice was often manipulated by his wife. And displayed as if "normal."

Herman Munster would jump up and down like a child when he didn't get his way. -- it's a wonder he didn't fall through the floor.

Tim Taylor would grunt and talk about giving everything more power. He also didn't evolve, his wife did and probably once the last kid was out of the house left him.

Even Bill Cosby couldn't enjoy a moment to himself without having a child or his wife boss him around.

And please don't get us started on Everybody Loves Raymond. They might have gotten laughs, but were shown to be quite pathetic without women to help them. This trend continues today with The Middle, Modern Family and the like. These are not men, the way they are portrayed worthy of our submission.

Don Draper

Then there's Mad Men's Don Draper. He works hard, plays hard and seems to genuinely to love his three children.

While we'll admit as a character he's deeply flawed. We would rather have a good provider and not behave like a child or be someone we need to parent.

He is a man who can take care of himself. We at The (real) Stepford Wives applaud that.