Juggling Act

 

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association have been fast coping, adjusting and learning what works in our daily lives. We decided a share a few of our new normal successes that we couldn't emphasize enough have made our lives easier. 

It had to be hubris that led us to assume that we had honed our skills to the point where handling the new normal would be a snap. Short-term, yes, as usual we had plenty of paper products (who else recalls the great toilet paper shortage?) our pantry was stocked and we had little worries. Then those first trips to the market told us a different tale. One cannot live on mayonnaise alone. People panicked and even emptied the store of even salad (which lasts roughly a week at the utmost). For a while our shopping lists were simply guides of things we might want to buy. 

Also back in March, we assumed our children were home for an extended Spring-break, and a few of us worried that the school year might be extended by a month or more, dashing long made vacation plans. Our men, working from home added another layer. They required quiet to conduct their business. Many took to basements, home offices, or even the master bedroom suite, anywhere they could do their needed work in peace. By April it became painfully aware this wasn't ending. We withhold judgement as to why, as that is not our place as women. Our husbands certainly would have handled this differently. They have kept our families safe throughout this confusing period not one person in our group has gotten this virus. 

At first we focused, almost easily so on serving up comfort meals that were probably too rich and calorie laden, but made everyone feel better. As March, turned to April, we quickly realized nothing was going back and we shifted away to more healthy meals. Marketing with haphazard lists, required us to at least mentally keep an ongoing record of meals our families enjoy, so we could switch a meal or swap an ingredient without worry. 

We needed to rearrange our schedule for cleaning more on the fly as even our children switched to distance learning on a laptop provided by their school. It was far more relaxed than usual day for them. Again our men worried about their education, some making the decision to home school or add to their lessons. Others in our group decided to wait and see what the next school year would look like before making decisions. Most of us, as of this writing, have determined to homeschool for at least the next year or so of education. This offers us the most flexibility for our children's studies. It also requires a more regulated approach to cleaning, laundering, and cooking. 

Those all-encompassing shopping lists became even more detailed. Now that store selection has improved at least in our our corner of the United States, we can plan out more meals, menus, often begin loosely on ideas become finalized in the days ahead of shopping, which is now handled differently. We at the (real) Stepford Wives Association used to run to the grocery store every few days, picking up those few needed items so our families would have access to only the freshest ingredients. Now, we have been forced to amend that, and refrain from multiple trips, but buy most of we need every two weeks or even longer. We try to purchase enough fruit and vegetables to last a good week. We have said before the most expensive food you buy is the one that is thrown away. 

Food waste cannot always be avoided but it can certainly be mitigated. 

Cleaning is difficult, many of us are in that same boat. Our men need quiet, our children require the same to do their lessons or attend a noisy classroom Zoom meeting (we had to quickly learn all these new to us services since quite obviously, we spend little time online). Will we ever return to normal? Or will this just become a new version of normal, the latest in a long line of changes we're required to adapt to? Adapt we must and nothing gives us more pleasure than serving our men and families. Noisy housework is put off, we can't run the vacuum on demand. 

Here are a few of the tips that seemed to help our group: 

• Go through the freezer and see what might need to be used (allow ample time for defrosting) 
• Go through the pantry regularly to see what you already have on hand. 
• Plan meals for the week based on those items 
• Write the meals down (breakfast, lunch and dinners) 
• Create a shopping list of extra ingredients you might need (fresh herbs, etc) 
• Make a detailed shopping list of all items needed to replenish the pantry, refrigerator, freezer
• Try to become creative with snacks (buy nuts, large hunks of cheese and cut or grate them up yourself, dried fruits to add to salads, etc) 

A final note, to limit those trips to the store and make better use of your time shopping, use up most of the items in your pantry and freezer before planning the trip to the big box warehouse or butcher shop, to replenish the supply. Keep in mind as the seasons change you will want to adjust the menu, cooler weather, warmer food. Late summer is not the time to buy 5 pounds of hotdogs or hamburger patties. 

For large meals, remember it's just as simple to double a recipe and make something that can be stored in the freezer for an easy meal, such as a baked ziti, lasagna or even chicken or veal parmesan, chili, red beans (for red beans and rice), beans and ham hocks, enchiladas, chili verde, can all be frozen and used later for whole or partial meals. Label everything carefully and check those items frequently. You'll be grateful if we are slammed with a likely second wave of this virus. 

Also remember to keep your stock on hand of basic cleaning supplies, again, if we are hit with a second wave and required to go back into total safe at home mode, you'll be grateful to already have plenty of those precious cleaning items on hand. 

We at the (real) Stepford Wives Association hope these tips assist you in better planning.  

Raising a Family

There is no finer joy than we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association find than serving our husbands. Raising our children comes close. Our sons learn from a young age to be gentlemen. Our daughters, while we hope they would chose to follow in our footfalls, it is more important for them to find their own place. We pass on our household tips on everything from cooking to stain removal. While our sons learn to be protective of women in our homes, the daughters learn what it means to take care of the home. While we encourage our daughters to get good grades, and attend college, even having a career if they desire, we also firmly believe they are in training to be wives and mothers. Like our mother's had raised us, we had veered far from the path, thinking we knew best. But our mothers and grandmothers had it right. Our place is to care for the family.

We made the right choice to put our husbands first with our homes and children close behind. Please do not be put off by the order. Children thrive in a well-kept home, rather than the chaos of an unkept one. A home where healthful meals are prepared from scratch. The children feel secure, especially when their parents are happy.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives strive for this level of perfection in all we do.

 

Political Correctness

During times of deep political correctness we at The (real) Stepford Wvies Association, firmly resolve to follow our husband's directives about all things that happen outside the home. Inside the home, we clean, cook and care for families,but outside we simply bask in their leadership. We refrain from making any type of political endorsement, or voicing an opinion. That, to us, is man talk and is left to them.

Should a friend at a social gathering inquire about who we are voting for in an upcoming election, we might simply reply that we haven't decided. If that remark wouid invite discourse, we simply admit we leave such matters to our husband. It's a good lesson for us in humility. If we cannot handle the steely eyes of strangers, how could we claim to feel any sense of pride in our homes, or our well-kept appearance? We gladly take the back-seat and leave the directions to them. They'll let us know how we should vote in any election. If your state allows absentee voting or voting by mail, you can simply sign the form, and hand the blank ballot to your man for them to fill out as they wish!

It's really what being a good wife is about.

 

Etiquette

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, believe strongly in wholesome family values. Our husbands lead the home and we couldn't be happier to exist under their thumb. They might seem heavy-handed or even harsh. We do not see them that way in the least. In fact, we welcome their often critical views and adopt their world view as our own.

We dress, not for other women or our church; we dress for our men and if our men love to see our cleavage it's for them. We do not worry that we are inviting temptation or leers of strangers. The idea that men are unable to control their desires is something we find ridiculous. So the woman who cover their bodies in ugly jumpers and wear leggings for modesty so they don't accidentally show a leg is equally silly in our view. We dress for our husbands PERIOD!

On occasion we are invited to "women-only" events or parties and we must RSVP, as required by social norms and rules of etiquette. Social norms have changed greatly since our mother and grandmother's day. Things that were once shunned are rather commonplace -- like people living together without marriage or having babies out of wedlock. Generally, we take these with a case-by-case approach. What goes on with consenting adults is none of our concern.

Today, the lines are blurred and we are often stymied as to what is appropriate. Recently speaking, a few of us were invited to a baby shower for a sixteen year old girl. The proud papa has already given up his future parental rights and the girl has decided to keep her baby. The Grandmother-to-be is hosting the shower. We were torn as to what to do. Do we simply attend and pretend this is something to be happy about? The wish-list is completely outrageous as well. The girl wants her mother's well-meaning friends and family to outfit the whole nursery, complete with top-of-the-line accessories. This still wet-behind-the-ears, never worked a day in her life girl also wants money to continue her education.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives applaud the right to choose! If this girl were an older young woman, with a job or at least a college degree, we would offer our support. If she were getting married, we would offer our support. Just because we remain supportive of choice doesn't mean we must pander to everyone else. The girl in question decided not to abort and that was her choice -- she also rather selfishly decided to keep her baby and try to play house by raising it herself. Another choice.

The best thing for this baby would be adoption and not the kind of adoption where the birth mother strings along an adoptive parent to care for her child until she decides when the baby is no longer a baby to take the child back. No, an adoption where the child is placed -- and it is done quickly so that the teenager can move forward with her life.

We each sent our regrets to the shower in question and it's doubtful our lack of presence was noticed. We did send a gift after the baby was born -- the grandmother sent out announcements. We do wish that young baby-mother the very best -- but we cannot condone this. We celebrate the baby -- not the mother.

 

Everything Old is New Again

We at The (real) Stepford Wives delight in providing our families with the best. This means today shopping for organic foods -- recently in our town we noticed a local co-op dairy began offering home delivery of dairy products. Our husbands did not hesitate to sign us up for this time saving service. They deliver six days a week.

On their first delivery dropped off a cooler and a very simple order sheet and left us with four quarts of milk in pretty glass jugs. Just like in days gone by. We can order cheeses yogurts, cream and butter! All delivered fresh each morning. Naturally all those things aren't delivered daily -- but the overall convenience is well worth it.

The cost is reasonable saving us time, limiting running to the store for a scant few items, which in turn leaves more time for cleaning! The added bonus for us is the milk is organic and raised without antibiotics or steroids. The chickens are certified organic and cage free. The quality is amazing and the peace of mind knowing that our items aren't trucked across the country or even hundreds of miles and left of a loading dock for only Lord knows how long is worth small price.

Now it seems we benefit greatly from our local farmers market -- a bounty of foods and we have begun the process of laying in food for the winter. Canning and dehydrating vegetables and fruits so enjoy during the cooler months. Additionally we are starting to make stocks for upcoming winter months and checking our butcher shop for specials our families enjoy. End of summer means planning for winter months. The canning, freezing and preserving will continue until late fall.

Stocking up the pantry, which by now is wearing thin is always a good idea as summer begins to ebb into fall, in the coming months stores will begin running specials on items like flour, baking powder, salt -- etc. Stocking up means taking advantage of these savings and deciding how much will be needed to get through until next summer -- white unbleached flour will last about a year -- other types of flour have a shorter shelf life. Packaged yeast can be frozen. Cake yeast cannot -- depending how much baking you do that is the one item not to over-stock.

Making your own pancake mix can save time on busy school mornings.

Mix together

6 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda (check expiration date first)

3 teaspoons baking powder

1 tablespoon kosher salt

2 tablespoons sugar

Store in an airtight container for up to three months -- shake container before using.

When it's time to make pancankes add in

2 eggs, separated

2 cups buttermilk

4 tablespoons melted butter

2 cups "Instant" Pancake Mix, recipe above

1 stick butter, for greasing the pan

2 cups fresh fruit such as blueberries, if desired

Heat an electric griddle or frying pan to 350 degrees F. Heat oven to 200 degrees F.

Whisk together the egg whites and the buttermilk in a small bowl. In another bowl, whisk the egg yolks with the melted butter.

Combine the buttermilk mixture with the egg yolk mixture in a large mixing bowl and whisk together until thoroughly combined. Pour the liquid ingredients on top of the pancake mix. Using a whisk, mix the batter just enough to bring it together. Don't try to work all the lumps out.

Check to see that the griddle is hot by placing a few drops of water onto to the griddle. The griddle is ready if the water dances across the surface.

Lightly butter the griddle. Wipe off thoroughly with a paper towel. (No butter should be visible.)

Gently ladle the pancake batter onto the griddle and sprinkle on fruit if desired. When bubbles begin to set around the edges of the pancake and the griddle-side of the cake is golden, gently flip the pancakes. Continue to cook 2 to 3 minutes or until the pancake is set.

Serve immediately or remove to a towel-lined baking sheet and cover with a towel. Hold in a warm place for 20 to 30 minutes. Yield around 12.

Tip: Batter can be stored in refrigerator over-night but subsequent pancakes are a little thinner.

Sample week

Sunday: Eggs with Sausage, toast, fresh mango or papaya. Or if winter canned peaches or apricots

Monday: Pancakes, banana slices, ham fresh orange juice

Tuesday: Easy Risers -- Fluffy scrambled egg, mixed with cheddar cheese and topped with Canadian bacon on whole wheat English muffin.

Wednesday: Pancakes with fruit like frozen blueberries.

Thursday: Bacon and eggs, fruit juice, whole grain bread

Friday: last of pancake batter, with eggs and left-over meats.

Saturday: Egg bake with ham, cheese (makes a great after school snack too).

For the egg bake:

1 cup fully cooked ham, cut into small pieces

2 cups shredded cheese our family loves smoked Gouda.

1/4 cup Parmesan Cheese

1 tablespoon flour

1/4 teaspoon Italian Seasoning or Cajun Seasoning for zip

1/4 teaspoon pepper, divided in half

1/4 cup butter, melted

12 eggs

1 cup milk, half-and-half or whipping cream

1/2 tablespoon Dijon mustard

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and lightly spray a 13x9 baking dish with cooking spray

Cut ham and add to large bowl

Add shredded cheese, Parmesan cheese, flour, seasoning and 1/8 teaspoon pepper, combine and pour into baking dish evenly

Melt butter and pour over ham mixture

In a large measuring cup, add 1 cup milk or cream, break eggs into measuring cup, add Dijon mustard and 1/8 teaspoon pepper, whisk well

Pour over ham mixture

Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until a knife inserted in the middle comes out clean.

Optional: sprinkle casserole with more cheese and return to oven for a couple minutes until cheese is melted and bubbly

You can also easily divide this recipe or double it as needed.

As prepared serves 8, halved serves roughly 4.

Ode to the Apron

Simple for cleaning

There is something lost in time, our mothers, grandmothers (perhaps great-grandmothers) understood the importance of a good apron. They are utilitarian. They actually do serve a purpose. They protect your clothing from grease and household cleaning mishaps.

 

It seems as time passed the notion of wearing an apron became antiquated or perhaps its something deeper than that -- it hearkened to a time when women specifically were chained to their homes and spent much of their day engaged in the drudgery of cleaning.

 

The apron was a symbol of that and as many symbols, we no longer appreciate, we lose respect for and throw them away. We threw away our aprons! Tossed them aside saying, "We don't need those. We're far too liberated."

 

There is something simple that occurs when one dons an apron -- it's much like a uniform. It says you're doing a task. Our society is so different today than it was decades past. We wear anything to clean today. Clothing can be purchased relatively inexpensively (look at the racks at a Wall Mart), but we also cannot forget that our economy is different too.

 

Most of us don't have the disposable cash to replace a shirt or pants and we expect our things to last longer than a season. Yes, some people don't care if they leave the house with a grease stain on their top. Magazines pay big money for pictures of celebrities with those -- to show how much they're really like us.

 

The apron shouldn't be a sign or signal of oppression but should be something we're rather proud of...We're smart and care that we don't want our clothing ruined doing basic or not so basic cleaning chores. Today it seems the simple apron is making a comeback. People are coming back around to the idea or the purpose of the apron. It's refreshing and kinda sad that it takes an economic crash to bring around an idea that probably shouldn't have left.

 

There are many types of aprons some are better suited for cleaning, other's perhaps cooking and then there's a those frilly ones. And really those are fun -- but useless. The fabric is simply too thin and while they look cute -- dry clean only? An Apron??

 

No, it should be the kind of material that one can toss in the wash. Hot or cold water, it shouldn't matter. No one outside you're immediate family (meaning the people you live with) should see it. You're not ashamed to wear it, but really you wouldn't wear to the market. It's not a fashion statement.

 

Decades ago, a women wouldn't answer the door wearing an apron. You never invited guests into your home while wearing an apron. When you entered the kitchen the apron went on, and when you left it, you took it off to see to your guests -- and that was the rule with even the stunningly pretty frilly ones!

 

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association salute the apron!

 

The Stepford Holiday

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe in the perfect holiday season. Our homes sparkle with tasteful decorations with our live tree as the center-piece. Our Christmas and holiday greeting cards were written, addressed and ready for mail on the 1st of December, complete with a photographic collage of memories. Each card is handwritten with a personal reflection to the recipient. We never ever use a computer (although we love our computers) letter generically filled with annual goings on. These, we feel not only are far too impersonal, tacky and lazy.

A personal message might be something, "It was wonderful spending time with you at our family reunion this year." and include something personal -- like about picking flowers or a meal prepared. It's far better to include a personal and individual message than to write to everyone on photocopied paper, we attended a family reunion -- it was fun.

Our homes get a once-over, cabinets cleared -- canned goods and other foods donated to worthy causes. Space is made for the goodies we bake daily during the season, betwix our cleaning and shopping schedules. We already put up our preserves, which can be used for homemade gifts, as well as family treats.

If you attend a holiday function at a friend or relative's home, we believe it is completely appropriate to not only bring a bottle of good wine, but also a basket of baked breakfast goods, such as muffins or scones. Now, the basket should be presented more discretely, for the hostess' eyes only. A day or so after the party, drop by the residence with a nice thank you note in hand; good taste should dictate the basket returned to you.

If, for any reason your husband disagrees, or wishes to keep your muffins for just yourselves, accept it as a lovely compliment and defer to his wishes.

Stepford Wifery 101 part 4

From the Good Wife Guide:

• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives believe firmly a man's home should be his castle. His personal refuge from the world. If the house is warm, cool it down; too cool, heat it up. Make it comfortable. If you allow pets on the furniture, shoo them out of his chair and do take a lint roller to it before he sits. Have a cool drink ready for him and maybe something small to nibble on while you finish up dinner. A tray of some vegetables with some sort of seasonal dipping sauce can be a wonderful starter for the whole family. Remember to refresh your husband's drink so that he doesn't wander into the kitchen looking for it himself.

Make sure the washer and drier are finished before he gets home, the vacuum put away, etc. quiet dishwashers may be run after dinner, if not turn them on at bedtime. As you cook, clean up washing dirty pots and pans as you use them. Keep kitchen clean-up sounds to a minimum after the meal. All children should be instructed to help as well. Children learning this at a young age, will refrain from running from the table after a meal when they enter their teen years. Also you can rest assured that should they dine at a friends house, they will automatically offer to help.


We believe once the dinner is completed, dishes washed and hopefully put away all cleaning shouid stop and you shouid focus only on your family. Finally set the table for breakfast the next morning.

Being a Dad Does Not Equal Bungling

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Club are often ashamed of what we see on television, so much so we collectively decided not to watch it anymore. Our homes are quieter, there's far less excitement at the end of the busy day. When we do watch, we use it as a teaching tool to our youngsters. Sure Homer Simpson is funny, but he's a poor Dad role model. Like Peter Griffin, he's an idiot. But those are cartoons, yet our Tv history is rife with bungling Dad's. Even Father Knows Best was often shown, while he could give sound advice was often manipulated by his wife. And displayed as if "normal."

Herman Munster would jump up and down like a child when he didn't get his way. -- it's a wonder he didn't fall through the floor.

Tim Taylor would grunt and talk about giving everything more power. He also didn't evolve, his wife did and probably once the last kid was out of the house left him.

Even Bill Cosby couldn't enjoy a moment to himself without having a child or his wife boss him around.

And please don't get us started on Everybody Loves Raymond. They might have gotten laughs, but were shown to be quite pathetic without women to help them. This trend continues today with The Middle, Modern Family and the like. These are not men, the way they are portrayed worthy of our submission.

Don Draper

Then there's Mad Men's Don Draper. He works hard, plays hard and seems to genuinely to love his three children.

While we'll admit as a character he's deeply flawed. We would rather have a good provider and not behave like a child or be someone we need to parent.

He is a man who can take care of himself. We at The (real) Stepford Wives applaud that.