Happy New Year

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly in a well organized life. What better way to begin but the start of a whole new year? The calendar is clear, and the year begins fresh and shiny. It's also time to exchange the red and green for gold and white. Out with the old and in with new (year).

Have plenty of champagne for good cheer as we and our sisters in Stepford, begin the year in style.

Our first tip is once the Christmas decorations are put away, the tree taken down, the thank you notes written and mailed, it's time to go through the mountain of cards. It's the perfect opportunity to update your card list, and double check mailing addresses. Also, make special notes of children's names and ages so your never caught unawares. Make a resolution to keep in touch more than once per year. If your not close enough to warrant a phone call, you might want to rethink if they're worth the effort of a stamp.

Buy all your birthday cards for the year in early January. Make a list, check it twice, address the envelope, and file it by month. We shy away from prewriting them out, but for some it might be appropriate. Others might want to include something more personal note -- such as mentioning a big vacation they recently took.

Also take a moment to write down each birthday on your calendar, including children. Don't forget important coworkers of your husband, including spouses and anniversary or celebratory occasions. Our husbands always marvel at how we keep all those important dates. Also, when purchasing cards, add a few blank (not too feminine) and others such as, condolence, get well, congratulations and just generic "thinking of you." January is the perfect time to make sure you have few extra of each type in addition to all those important cards. Update throughout the year, when you buy special occasion cards (Valentimes, Mother's Day, etc). Next December begin constructing next year's list.

Start the year with clean sheets. It sounds silly, but beginning the year with all the wash, all the cleaning, all the beds with spanking clean bedding is a most fine way to begin the year.

Make a sound resolution to be the best reflection of your husband and embrace more the fact that everything you do is really for him and because of him.

 

Ode to the Apron

Simple for cleaning

There is something lost in time, our mothers, grandmothers (perhaps great-grandmothers) understood the importance of a good apron. They are utilitarian. They actually do serve a purpose. They protect your clothing from grease and household cleaning mishaps.

 

It seems as time passed the notion of wearing an apron became antiquated or perhaps its something deeper than that -- it hearkened to a time when women specifically were chained to their homes and spent much of their day engaged in the drudgery of cleaning.

 

The apron was a symbol of that and as many symbols, we no longer appreciate, we lose respect for and throw them away. We threw away our aprons! Tossed them aside saying, "We don't need those. We're far too liberated."

 

There is something simple that occurs when one dons an apron -- it's much like a uniform. It says you're doing a task. Our society is so different today than it was decades past. We wear anything to clean today. Clothing can be purchased relatively inexpensively (look at the racks at a Wall Mart), but we also cannot forget that our economy is different too.

 

Most of us don't have the disposable cash to replace a shirt or pants and we expect our things to last longer than a season. Yes, some people don't care if they leave the house with a grease stain on their top. Magazines pay big money for pictures of celebrities with those -- to show how much they're really like us.

 

The apron shouldn't be a sign or signal of oppression but should be something we're rather proud of...We're smart and care that we don't want our clothing ruined doing basic or not so basic cleaning chores. Today it seems the simple apron is making a comeback. People are coming back around to the idea or the purpose of the apron. It's refreshing and kinda sad that it takes an economic crash to bring around an idea that probably shouldn't have left.

 

There are many types of aprons some are better suited for cleaning, other's perhaps cooking and then there's a those frilly ones. And really those are fun -- but useless. The fabric is simply too thin and while they look cute -- dry clean only? An Apron??

 

No, it should be the kind of material that one can toss in the wash. Hot or cold water, it shouldn't matter. No one outside you're immediate family (meaning the people you live with) should see it. You're not ashamed to wear it, but really you wouldn't wear to the market. It's not a fashion statement.

 

Decades ago, a women wouldn't answer the door wearing an apron. You never invited guests into your home while wearing an apron. When you entered the kitchen the apron went on, and when you left it, you took it off to see to your guests -- and that was the rule with even the stunningly pretty frilly ones!

 

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association salute the apron!

 

Stepford Wifery 101 part 8

From the Good Wife Guide:

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

If any part of this list is true, we at The (real) Stepford Wives believe this final point is the crux of our personal beliefs. Our husbands are the celebrated heads of our houses. This is why our first rule is never argue with them. If they spend money on something we know and trust we can afford it. While we are free to look at bank statements and the like, we often choose not to because of our faith in them. We do not steal money from their wallets. We ask them before spending exorbitant amounts on major purchase. They decide on our budget and we stick to that.

In short we trust our husbands. We might at times disagree with them, but we know in our hearts they have our best interest. We voice disagreements decidedly, without raising our voices or becoming defensive. We do not manipulate our husbands, their final word is law. Period.

There are times we do not agree, but we hold our tongues and if they do make an error, we NEVER hold it against them.

 

Stepford Wifery 101 part 7

From the Good Wife Guide:

• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Since it seems unclear if this is something to be done before dinner, we at The (real) Stepford Wives believe this is after dinner, before bedtime. Many of our husbands work at home in the evenings so taking extra steps to see to their comfort is very important. Seeing to their comfort is our pleasure. Creating a calm pleasing environment.

We do routinely offer to remove our husbands shoes after dinner (we believe shoes should be worn at the dinner table) and help them get settled. We check on them offering to refresh their drinks, offer snacks, or the TV remote. We speak always in low pleasing tones, our job is to relax our husbands not stress them out.

Stepford Wifery 101 part 6

From The Good Wife Guide:

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

This is the one part that we at The (real) Stepford Wives take a teeny bit of exception to. We maintain a good husband, who loves and respects his wife as our husbands do, would never put us through the distress of not coming home. Our relationships are very much based on give and take. While we might not question our husbands for being a little late, we would expect an explanation if they stayed out all night. Or decided to have drinks with the guys without so much as a phone call. Flights can be delayed and life can cause complications, but even they understand we are not doormats.

We would not however accuse them of anything unseemly, nor scream at them. We would quietly wait for them to explain and accept their explanation without question. If we felt we were being taken unfair advantage of, we would without hesitation change the locks on the house.

What we have is a very delicate balance. Our husbands respect us and take their position as seriously as we do. We would never hand over everything we are, in our Stepford ideals to any man unworthy or untrustworthy.

Such a man might include the following characteristics:

1. He abuses alcohol or uses drugs (including prescription medicines) or has any untreated addictions
2. He spends money foolishly causing great debt
3. He is physically or mentally abusive to ourselves, our children, our homes, vehicles or our pets.
4. He has a history of cheating
5. Never takes responsibility for his actions

We will discuss these at a later date in more detail. We understand our husbands character and what they believe. We trust in their fairness and their honest disposition.

 

Stepford Wifery 101 part 5

From The Good Wife Guide:

• Be happy to see him.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

While we at The (real) Stepford Wives feel all the precious posts cover these nicely, it does bear repeating and reminding oneself that our husband's are leaders of our homes. They deserve respect. They have spent many hours away from us, with disagreeable people toiling away to provide us with a home, clothing, food and everything else. So yes, be thrilled he's home and treat him with the care and respect he deserves.

Listen to him, let him unload about his day, don't interrupt him to complain about your day. Or give him bad news about the washer. Emergency news, such as family illness should be shared right away, but baring that consider it his time. If he needs to grumble about work, listen, smile and give him your full attention. Show him you appreciate his efforts. When he asks about your day, don't dwell on negative things. If you must tell him about something unfortunate, such as an issue with the car or other appliance, offer to discuss it later -- when he's had time to relax.

There is nothing worse than being blindsided the moment your husband walks through the door with a laundry list of complaints or problems. Serious issues like water gushing from a pipe might require his immediate attention, little this certainly don't. Learn to prioritize. The clothes washer will still be broken after dinner, so long as water isn't filling the basement or coming through a ceiling let it go.

 

If you have a baby, don't thrust the child into his arms and say, "you deal with it!" Yes, we understand there are days we want to do this -- but do not. If the baby is happy then by all means, but if the baby is cranky then insulate him from that. His children should be a joy. He feels the burdens of fatherhood and certainly doesn't need it thrown into his face.

Happy Family

 

Stepford Wifery 101 part 4

From the Good Wife Guide:

• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives believe firmly a man's home should be his castle. His personal refuge from the world. If the house is warm, cool it down; too cool, heat it up. Make it comfortable. If you allow pets on the furniture, shoo them out of his chair and do take a lint roller to it before he sits. Have a cool drink ready for him and maybe something small to nibble on while you finish up dinner. A tray of some vegetables with some sort of seasonal dipping sauce can be a wonderful starter for the whole family. Remember to refresh your husband's drink so that he doesn't wander into the kitchen looking for it himself.

Make sure the washer and drier are finished before he gets home, the vacuum put away, etc. quiet dishwashers may be run after dinner, if not turn them on at bedtime. As you cook, clean up washing dirty pots and pans as you use them. Keep kitchen clean-up sounds to a minimum after the meal. All children should be instructed to help as well. Children learning this at a young age, will refrain from running from the table after a meal when they enter their teen years. Also you can rest assured that should they dine at a friends house, they will automatically offer to help.


We believe once the dinner is completed, dishes washed and hopefully put away all cleaning shouid stop and you shouid focus only on your family. Finally set the table for breakfast the next morning.

Stepford Wifery 101 part 3

From The Good Wife Guide:

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives understand that a cluttered home isn't calm and it's far more difficult to relax when surrounded by mess and disorganization. All homes have what we call 'hot spots;' the place where items are dumped -- taking only a few minutes can help to minimize clutter and form a more pleasing environment for entertaining, learning and family socializing. We personally have noticed that our children argue far less in a clean home -- although non of us can explain why this is. We believe it might be a psychological influence.

Daily dusting of high traffic or sleeping areas will greatly help allergy sufferers.

Stepford Wifery 101 part 2

We at The (real) Stepford Wives, feel strongly the next two are so closely related we would handle them as one.

From The Good Wife Guide:

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

We like these ideas and use them daily. Taking those few minutes remind us of our place and who we do these things for, our husbands. Cooking can involve many different odors, most which will cling to clothing. Taking those few minutes to air ourselves out, freshen up and reapply our lipstick, let's him know he's special. Also, taking a few moments to clean the little ones sticky fingers off and make them presentable for daddy's return.

Being happy and loving to him when he walks through the door most of all, tell him how happy you are that he's home and how much you missed him while he was at work. He's been away from you with yes work weary people but also, never forget he's been engaging in maybe interesting conversations and many might be with the opposite sex. We at The (real) Stepford Wives don't worry about these other women, because we don't nag and we insist on giving our husbands what they need.

Stepford Wifery 101 part 1

From The Good Wife Guide:

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives cannot begin to express how important this first bit of advice is. Pre-planning meals is a very important time saving device all of us should do. Not only does it save trips to the market, which in turn saves you gas, but it makes meal planning a snap. It does let your husband know that you are thinking of him.

What we, The (real) Stepford Wives, believe meals should be prompt and served at the dining room table, with a crisp table cloth and cloth napkins for an elegant touch. Children should be present during the meal, as it teaches good table manners and encourages them to learn the art of conversation. Lastly, fathers shouldn't be insulated from their children. They both need time to connect.

When possible, soft music should be played classical or jazz are both wonderful, it's our opinion anything soft, slow and instrumental will work.

a good wife

Remember it's the little things that will make your life real simple.