One of the most common questions asked to those of us in The (real) Stepford Wives Association is how did we decide to hand over control to our husbands. It started with noticing how our husbands reacted when we corrected them about, oh just about anything. Immediately without realizing we turned into their Mothers. At least that's how they saw us for a moment or three. It reminded them of their teen years. Even though they never outwardly complained about it, their reaction was to rather shut down. The reality we learned once our behavior stopped, was that they felt emasculated.
When we stopped correcting them, we noticed their personal confidence soared in most unexpected ways. When we corrected them, they felt defeated if only for a few minutes and reverted back to angry teens. They believed nothing they did was correct. They didn't think we trusted them to make good decisions -- just like their mothers.
The problem is the mothers did this out of strong maternal love -- no mother wants to see their child make mistakes. The urge to insulate their children from their own errors, some which are needed for growth. But what is our excuse for this behavior toward our husbands?
Before we stopped, our husbands collectively were spending many hours away from home (read: away from us). They would fritter away their time, on golf courses, at work, the gym, working on junker cars -- any place we were not.
The truth is we each married clever, capable men and when we stopped nagging, pestering and correcting them, they found renewed interest in us. We were again the women they married and vowed to spend their lives with.
Remember our men don't want to make love to their mothers. They wanted a woman who is respectful of their authority, where they can shine and where we shine along side them.
