Happy New Year

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly in a well organized life. What better way to begin but the start of a whole new year? The calendar is clear, and the year begins fresh and shiny. It's also time to exchange the red and green for gold and white. Out with the old and in with new (year).

Have plenty of champagne for good cheer as we and our sisters in Stepford, begin the year in style.

Our first tip is once the Christmas decorations are put away, the tree taken down, the thank you notes written and mailed, it's time to go through the mountain of cards. It's the perfect opportunity to update your card list, and double check mailing addresses. Also, make special notes of children's names and ages so your never caught unawares. Make a resolution to keep in touch more than once per year. If your not close enough to warrant a phone call, you might want to rethink if they're worth the effort of a stamp.

Buy all your birthday cards for the year in early January. Make a list, check it twice, address the envelope, and file it by month. We shy away from prewriting them out, but for some it might be appropriate. Others might want to include something more personal note -- such as mentioning a big vacation they recently took.

Also take a moment to write down each birthday on your calendar, including children. Don't forget important coworkers of your husband, including spouses and anniversary or celebratory occasions. Our husbands always marvel at how we keep all those important dates. Also, when purchasing cards, add a few blank (not too feminine) and others such as, condolence, get well, congratulations and just generic "thinking of you." January is the perfect time to make sure you have few extra of each type in addition to all those important cards. Update throughout the year, when you buy special occasion cards (Valentimes, Mother's Day, etc). Next December begin constructing next year's list.

Start the year with clean sheets. It sounds silly, but beginning the year with all the wash, all the cleaning, all the beds with spanking clean bedding is a most fine way to begin the year.

Make a sound resolution to be the best reflection of your husband and embrace more the fact that everything you do is really for him and because of him.

 

Raising a Family

There is no finer joy than we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association find than serving our husbands. Raising our children comes close. Our sons learn from a young age to be gentlemen. Our daughters, while we hope they would chose to follow in our footfalls, it is more important for them to find their own place. We pass on our household tips on everything from cooking to stain removal. While our sons learn to be protective of women in our homes, the daughters learn what it means to take care of the home. While we encourage our daughters to get good grades, and attend college, even having a career if they desire, we also firmly believe they are in training to be wives and mothers. Like our mother's had raised us, we had veered far from the path, thinking we knew best. But our mothers and grandmothers had it right. Our place is to care for the family.

We made the right choice to put our husbands first with our homes and children close behind. Please do not be put off by the order. Children thrive in a well-kept home, rather than the chaos of an unkept one. A home where healthful meals are prepared from scratch. The children feel secure, especially when their parents are happy.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives strive for this level of perfection in all we do.

 

Taboo Topics

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association routinely shirk political discussions with anyone outside of our husbands but recently a person inquired if our religious beliefs are interwoven with our Stepfordness. The answer to that is no, in fact we are diverse when it comes to religions we do not endorse a particular faith, instead we applaud all women who seek their husband's to be family leaders. Our membership ranges from Jewish, Protestant, a former Roman Catholic turned Atheist and Buddhist. We welcome all who have spiritual connection to faith or none at all; so long as they wish to submit to their husbands authority.

Another question is about the fictional character "Bree" from the ABC show Desperate Housewives. Simply put, we do not feel Bree is a Stepford Wife because she refused to submit to her husband. We do submit to our husbands and everything we do is for them. We respect their authority and never question them or behave hostilely toward them. While the character of Bree seems adept at cooking, cleaning and smiling -- all while wearing pearls; she will not submit and uses her smile with other abilities to control rather than enhance her husband. In the simplest of terms Bree is a control freak and that is not Stepford.

We do not submit for biblical reasons we submit because it's right to do. We support the values of those who do, but it is not a reason we look for. We submit because our husbands are worthy of it. They lead and guide us in all ways and we are happy they do.

Political Correctness

During times of deep political correctness we at The (real) Stepford Wvies Association, firmly resolve to follow our husband's directives about all things that happen outside the home. Inside the home, we clean, cook and care for families,but outside we simply bask in their leadership. We refrain from making any type of political endorsement, or voicing an opinion. That, to us, is man talk and is left to them.

Should a friend at a social gathering inquire about who we are voting for in an upcoming election, we might simply reply that we haven't decided. If that remark wouid invite discourse, we simply admit we leave such matters to our husband. It's a good lesson for us in humility. If we cannot handle the steely eyes of strangers, how could we claim to feel any sense of pride in our homes, or our well-kept appearance? We gladly take the back-seat and leave the directions to them. They'll let us know how we should vote in any election. If your state allows absentee voting or voting by mail, you can simply sign the form, and hand the blank ballot to your man for them to fill out as they wish!

It's really what being a good wife is about.

 

Cleaning

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association take cleaning very seriously. Each day we begin our cleaning routine by changing the sheets on our marital bed. Just like a favorite hotel, we change the sheets, dust the room, vacuum, fluff pillows. We launder all the towels, scrub the master bath, so it sparkles. We scrub the shower, and here's a note, if you do all this daily, the bathroom will never smell or seem dingy. We wash down the bathroom walls and wash the floor. We replace and wash any area rugs,

With the master bedroom clean, we move into the hall way, dusting and vacuuming, all the other bedrooms are tidied, dusted, sheets are cleaned, more towels washed and those bathrooms are scrubbed clean until they sparkle and shine.

Moving through the other rooms, each are dusted from top to bottom vacuumed and pillows fluffed. In heavier living spaces, like the family room, toys are stowed, everything there is dusted, floors cleaned. Our hardwood floors sparkle with a hand washing of a solution of distilled vinegar and water. It's the same thing we use on the kitchen wood cabinets. Our baseboards are cleaned along with the floors. The final touch are the appliances.

After the home is spotless, it's time to run errands for our husbands, this might include running to the dry cleaner, shopping or whatever else needs to be done. Back at home, snacks are prepared for children as they come home from school and dinner is started. A quick trip to the master bedroom to check makeup, put on a nicer dress, fix hair and appy a little lipstick. Our husbands have been stuck all day with grumpy people so we want them happy when they return home. We fix a tray that includes a favorite beverage and a light snack for them and set the dining table. Wash children's faces if they dine with us or more likely feed them ahead of time.

When they walk through the door, at the end of that difficult day, we greet them with a kiss and their beverage. We take their shoes off and put their slippers on and offer that light snack, while we put the finishing touches on dinner. They lead all conversation. We pay attention to all the details, because we see ourselves often as their home sectrary. We serve them dinner and standby for anything else they need. When they are finished eating so are we. We tidy the kitchen, wash the stove or cooktop, and sweep the floors. Some of us Stepford gals will set the breakfast table. We end the day by thanking our husbands for allowing us the blessings of serving them.

In the master bedroom,we seduce them with candes and shower them with attention to demonstrate our love. We dress in sexy lingerie and never ever come out with our faces in cold cream. We strive they never see us without makeup, and make sure they are asleep before we do any beauty regiment.

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association do this each day and everyday because we feel it's all important and one just never knows what tomorrow will bring? if a child is sick, most of our list can still be accomplished. The world stops for us if our husband isn't feeling his best.

 

Needs Vs Wants

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association are often beset with queries as to how we determine what we really need as opposed to what we actually want. The bitter truth is, for us, we leave it to our husbands to decide that for us. Real "needs" such as tires for the car or a new comforter or sheet set for the bed are met with little opposition -- so long as the older ones are shabby, torn or plane worn out. If our vacuum breaks down and cannot be repaired, then it becomes a need.

Sometimes there are things we'd love to have, but our husbands see little point, for example a crock pot, might be lovely for some to own but not us. We have time to cook meals without the use of a slow-cooker. We do not disparage those who do utilize one, but our husband's have determined all on their own that we survive just fine without one. We do not have the latest shiny gadgets either because we don't need them. iPhone, iPod, or iWhatever are for our husbands to utilize and not for us. Sometimes they will offer their older one for us to use -- and we appreciate that.

We do not waste our time idly dreaming up wish lists of the latest cleaning gadget either. We have our own tried snd true methods for cleaning that involve mostly a little Comet and a whole lot of elbow grease. We clean our homes from top to bottom each day and the whole home just sparkles because you never know when something might come up. Our closets and drawers are appointed snd never just thrown about willy-nilly. We dispise a closet in disarray as much as we dispise a mussy appearance.

We are hospitable and charitable but continue with our tasks when non-Stepford friends come calling. We do not chat or Skype or daydream about our lives we're far to busy living them! We teach our daughters to be good wives and mothers.

 

Etiquette

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, believe strongly in wholesome family values. Our husbands lead the home and we couldn't be happier to exist under their thumb. They might seem heavy-handed or even harsh. We do not see them that way in the least. In fact, we welcome their often critical views and adopt their world view as our own.

We dress, not for other women or our church; we dress for our men and if our men love to see our cleavage it's for them. We do not worry that we are inviting temptation or leers of strangers. The idea that men are unable to control their desires is something we find ridiculous. So the woman who cover their bodies in ugly jumpers and wear leggings for modesty so they don't accidentally show a leg is equally silly in our view. We dress for our husbands PERIOD!

On occasion we are invited to "women-only" events or parties and we must RSVP, as required by social norms and rules of etiquette. Social norms have changed greatly since our mother and grandmother's day. Things that were once shunned are rather commonplace -- like people living together without marriage or having babies out of wedlock. Generally, we take these with a case-by-case approach. What goes on with consenting adults is none of our concern.

Today, the lines are blurred and we are often stymied as to what is appropriate. Recently speaking, a few of us were invited to a baby shower for a sixteen year old girl. The proud papa has already given up his future parental rights and the girl has decided to keep her baby. The Grandmother-to-be is hosting the shower. We were torn as to what to do. Do we simply attend and pretend this is something to be happy about? The wish-list is completely outrageous as well. The girl wants her mother's well-meaning friends and family to outfit the whole nursery, complete with top-of-the-line accessories. This still wet-behind-the-ears, never worked a day in her life girl also wants money to continue her education.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives applaud the right to choose! If this girl were an older young woman, with a job or at least a college degree, we would offer our support. If she were getting married, we would offer our support. Just because we remain supportive of choice doesn't mean we must pander to everyone else. The girl in question decided not to abort and that was her choice -- she also rather selfishly decided to keep her baby and try to play house by raising it herself. Another choice.

The best thing for this baby would be adoption and not the kind of adoption where the birth mother strings along an adoptive parent to care for her child until she decides when the baby is no longer a baby to take the child back. No, an adoption where the child is placed -- and it is done quickly so that the teenager can move forward with her life.

We each sent our regrets to the shower in question and it's doubtful our lack of presence was noticed. We did send a gift after the baby was born -- the grandmother sent out announcements. We do wish that young baby-mother the very best -- but we cannot condone this. We celebrate the baby -- not the mother.

 

Always Smile

Smile, though your heart is aching

Smile, even though it’s breaking

When there are clouds in the sky

you’ll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You’ll see the sun come shining through

for you

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness Although a tear may be ever so near

That’s the time you must keep on trying

Smile what’s the use of crying

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile

If you’ll just

Smile

If we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association had a personal credo (other than to serve men) it would be to simply smile. This simple song written by Charlie Chaplin personifies perfectly what we believe deep inside. We smile. How we feel inside, angry, hurt, frustrated; we do not cry out in anger, we smile through it.

We never falsely feign happiness, we simply are happy and even if we are sad, we outwardly show and demonstrate happiness. We are thrilled with our husbands and the lives they afforded us to live. We remain composed and poised to handle the challenges of modern living wearing our best smile as reflection of our very lives. This is our most beneficial and important asset and it's never false. Our smiles are completely genuine. We are just that happy!

When we do become down or blue we remind ourselves how difficult our husbands must have it, being around people who rarely smile, save for after work. We remind ourselves of all the people so much more less fortunate than ourselves.

It gets us through whatever we are going through, well that and hugely tidy home with healthy children. Plus we have The (real) Stepford Wives Association to help and to see us through. It is also a large reason how we earned our pearls.

 

Seen but Never Heard

We at The (real) Stepford Wvies Association believe our husbands are entitled to whatever they wish -- we suppose what they most often crave is quiet. It is incumbent upon us to spend most of time waiting to be useful to them and not be a bother. Idle chatter is distracting for our husbands. They spend hours of the day dealing with things we simply cannot comprehend but we also must adapt and learn to curb our enthusiasm when they return home.

Sometimes we do have important things to share with them, but the reality is most days those things can wait. It's important and we cannot stress this enough to spend plenty of time looking our best. We should be eye candy and not flapping away about something trivial.

When we are escorted by our husband out for an evening, we proudly shine like a bauble for their pleasure. When we serve our husbands dinner, we do so much like a good maid would. Quietly! And we take it rather personally when we leave something out, we know they would ask for. We make no excuses or yell that we know or it's coming -- but we apologize and quickly get the missing item.

During outtings with our husbands we remain quiet and wait for them to speak to us. We are always free to ask questions or make a request -- such as on a hot day to ask for water, but we do always try to see to their needs before our own. We arrange things the way they like them -- for example in restaurants it's common for the table to be cluttered -- we remove those things to an adjacent table if we know our husbands will not touch them.

My husband will often order iced tea with lunch -- I immediately when the waiter brings it, begin adding the sweetener he likes and squeeze the lemon. Then I serve it to him. Same with coffee at the end of the meal -- it is placed the way he likes it by me.

Remaining quiet is difficult, yet it's also rewarding because it makes our husbands very happy and proud. We always want them to be proud. Endless prattle is not how we gain their approval. We gain it through our silence and submission.

 

Everything Old is New Again

We at The (real) Stepford Wives delight in providing our families with the best. This means today shopping for organic foods -- recently in our town we noticed a local co-op dairy began offering home delivery of dairy products. Our husbands did not hesitate to sign us up for this time saving service. They deliver six days a week.

On their first delivery dropped off a cooler and a very simple order sheet and left us with four quarts of milk in pretty glass jugs. Just like in days gone by. We can order cheeses yogurts, cream and butter! All delivered fresh each morning. Naturally all those things aren't delivered daily -- but the overall convenience is well worth it.

The cost is reasonable saving us time, limiting running to the store for a scant few items, which in turn leaves more time for cleaning! The added bonus for us is the milk is organic and raised without antibiotics or steroids. The chickens are certified organic and cage free. The quality is amazing and the peace of mind knowing that our items aren't trucked across the country or even hundreds of miles and left of a loading dock for only Lord knows how long is worth small price.

Now it seems we benefit greatly from our local farmers market -- a bounty of foods and we have begun the process of laying in food for the winter. Canning and dehydrating vegetables and fruits so enjoy during the cooler months. Additionally we are starting to make stocks for upcoming winter months and checking our butcher shop for specials our families enjoy. End of summer means planning for winter months. The canning, freezing and preserving will continue until late fall.

Stocking up the pantry, which by now is wearing thin is always a good idea as summer begins to ebb into fall, in the coming months stores will begin running specials on items like flour, baking powder, salt -- etc. Stocking up means taking advantage of these savings and deciding how much will be needed to get through until next summer -- white unbleached flour will last about a year -- other types of flour have a shorter shelf life. Packaged yeast can be frozen. Cake yeast cannot -- depending how much baking you do that is the one item not to over-stock.

Making your own pancake mix can save time on busy school mornings.

Mix together

6 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda (check expiration date first)

3 teaspoons baking powder

1 tablespoon kosher salt

2 tablespoons sugar

Store in an airtight container for up to three months -- shake container before using.

When it's time to make pancankes add in

2 eggs, separated

2 cups buttermilk

4 tablespoons melted butter

2 cups "Instant" Pancake Mix, recipe above

1 stick butter, for greasing the pan

2 cups fresh fruit such as blueberries, if desired

Heat an electric griddle or frying pan to 350 degrees F. Heat oven to 200 degrees F.

Whisk together the egg whites and the buttermilk in a small bowl. In another bowl, whisk the egg yolks with the melted butter.

Combine the buttermilk mixture with the egg yolk mixture in a large mixing bowl and whisk together until thoroughly combined. Pour the liquid ingredients on top of the pancake mix. Using a whisk, mix the batter just enough to bring it together. Don't try to work all the lumps out.

Check to see that the griddle is hot by placing a few drops of water onto to the griddle. The griddle is ready if the water dances across the surface.

Lightly butter the griddle. Wipe off thoroughly with a paper towel. (No butter should be visible.)

Gently ladle the pancake batter onto the griddle and sprinkle on fruit if desired. When bubbles begin to set around the edges of the pancake and the griddle-side of the cake is golden, gently flip the pancakes. Continue to cook 2 to 3 minutes or until the pancake is set.

Serve immediately or remove to a towel-lined baking sheet and cover with a towel. Hold in a warm place for 20 to 30 minutes. Yield around 12.

Tip: Batter can be stored in refrigerator over-night but subsequent pancakes are a little thinner.

Sample week

Sunday: Eggs with Sausage, toast, fresh mango or papaya. Or if winter canned peaches or apricots

Monday: Pancakes, banana slices, ham fresh orange juice

Tuesday: Easy Risers -- Fluffy scrambled egg, mixed with cheddar cheese and topped with Canadian bacon on whole wheat English muffin.

Wednesday: Pancakes with fruit like frozen blueberries.

Thursday: Bacon and eggs, fruit juice, whole grain bread

Friday: last of pancake batter, with eggs and left-over meats.

Saturday: Egg bake with ham, cheese (makes a great after school snack too).

For the egg bake:

1 cup fully cooked ham, cut into small pieces

2 cups shredded cheese our family loves smoked Gouda.

1/4 cup Parmesan Cheese

1 tablespoon flour

1/4 teaspoon Italian Seasoning or Cajun Seasoning for zip

1/4 teaspoon pepper, divided in half

1/4 cup butter, melted

12 eggs

1 cup milk, half-and-half or whipping cream

1/2 tablespoon Dijon mustard

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and lightly spray a 13x9 baking dish with cooking spray

Cut ham and add to large bowl

Add shredded cheese, Parmesan cheese, flour, seasoning and 1/8 teaspoon pepper, combine and pour into baking dish evenly

Melt butter and pour over ham mixture

In a large measuring cup, add 1 cup milk or cream, break eggs into measuring cup, add Dijon mustard and 1/8 teaspoon pepper, whisk well

Pour over ham mixture

Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until a knife inserted in the middle comes out clean.

Optional: sprinkle casserole with more cheese and return to oven for a couple minutes until cheese is melted and bubbly

You can also easily divide this recipe or double it as needed.

As prepared serves 8, halved serves roughly 4.

Cleaning Up

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association know its sometimes taxing to keep up on mundane chores whilst keeping the rest of the home up to what

we refer to as 'Stepford Snuff'.' During the long summer months with children home from school, it seems endless for the good wife who refuses to feed her children snacks on paper plates.

It is for this reason we adhere to strict summer schedules for eating and snacks. Breakfast is served promptly at 7:30am -- same as when school is in session. After all out husbands need to eat and we are not a restaurant.

Lunch is served around 11:30 - 12:00pm and normally consists of a left-over from the previous dinner. Usually with a twist, chicken can be cubed and made into chicken salad. Roast beef is shredded and mixed with a sauce or left-gravy and served as sliders. Vegetables are non-negotiable and neither is fruit. Children do not eat nearly enough fruits and vegetables.

The long haul is for dinner time which for us is normally 7pm. So it's smart to provide a good snack between 2:30 - 4:30pm (which is also on school days when some of our children get home). After cooking dinner, take a few minutes to freshen your makeup and prepare a beverage for your husband. Greet him with a smile and know you have accomplished it another day.

 

 

Take it Slow

To live in a world where only one trip to the store a week was needed!

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe in being well organized, we do not believe, and our husbands would never approve of being wasteful, only buying enough food for several days. We believe in making lists -- in fact we do not shop without a list. We consider it wrong to leave the home dressed is dungarees; the way our mothers would frown on being seeing seen in public with their hair in curlers. We are a direct reflection of our husbands.

With our list in our sometimes gloved hand, we walk slowly down each aisle. Paying deep attention to both sides. We never want to appear rushed. Our lists are constructed in a specific order based on the store. Each store has its own way of arranging where items are located. Some stores actually offer a map to savvy customers of the store's layout. Knowing exactly what is on each shelf saves time. So, while we walk slowly with purpose, we never forget anything or miss an item so we have to back track.

We do not always begin at the start of store, many of us choose to begin at the meat counter, before moving to the produce section. these, often are rarely within the same proximity. However beginning at the butcher or meat counter is best, since your produce selections might be altered if you discover lamb chops are on special -- and it's your husband's favorite. You might decide to add some mint -- which means returning to the produce section. However if you begin in the butcher counter, then move to produce.

You'll be happy you tried it.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association feel its best to make your list as you use things and check the cabinets before you leave. Keep the reusable shopping bags handy, as you walk out the door. Also, if you use a smart phone, it can be a good place to keep your lists.

It Had Been a Normal Day

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association rarely pay attention to the news. If we have anything on, it's generally our home stereo systems, playing music that inspires us. We do not waste time idly in front of the television (in fact most of us never turn it on -- that's really for our husbands to decide). We spend our time, cleaning running errands or other community actives.

Late Monday morning Mrs P Souris was at her eldest son's school getting ready for a silent auction to benefit the math department. Mrs T Lowenstein was running on the gym treadmill before going to Target. Mrs A. Myers was having her teeth cleaned at the dentist, and Mrs S. Donovan was doing her laundry while catching up on cleaning her oven.

We all planned to meet later that evening at Mrs Souris' home for a delightful pot-luck meal and a night of playing Hearts while our husbands watched a game. Vera was first to arrive and broke the news to us about the events in Oklahoma just hours before. While our hearts immediately went out to the people effected and we made arrangements to gather some clothing and other essentials to send to the area, we were also, blissfully unaware.

It should be noted Vera is not a Stepford Wife, and frankly would never be considered for membership, as she is simply not Stepford Wife material but a good friend nonetheless. Our husbands were proud we hadn't a clue about what was going on, especially Mr Souris, who goes to great lengths to protect his wife from unpleasantness. He kissed his wife's cheek and assured her -- along with the rest of us we were right not to worry about such matters.

We make no excuses for existing in our bubble and being unaware of such a horrible event. We all live on the left coast, and far away from Oklahoma, so it isn't unusual that people weren't captivated by the news here the way they were in other parts of the country. However it does highlight something important to us -- we got on quite well not knowing. For us the earth continued to spin.

It cannot be understated our hearts, prayers and thoughts go out to those most affected. Still, we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association remain pleased we held onto our convictions and remained completely unaware of the events. We encourage our fellow sisters in Stepford to live by our example, keeping our focus on our family and daily chores. For us it was thankfully a very normal day.

Mrs Peter Lowenstein

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly that marriage is a wonderful institution. When we married our husbands we were no longer simply "Becki Jones" or 'Stefanie Goodhead' we became Mrs. Peter Lowenstein and Mrs Barnaby Singleton. We are proud of our husbands names and wear them proudly. Their monogram is our own. Some years ago a major department chain announced they would,refer to guests as Mr or Ms., and this was met with a public outcry.

We would argue fervently the chain was correct sales clerks do no know us personally and referring to us by our first name alone is a bit too personal. Some groups said the idea was antiquated and terribly out of date. Let us make something clear, they only reason they know our names at all is because they got them off our credit card. They didn't ask for friendship and we aren't looking for a friend either. We are there simply to shop.

We went to our husbands and asked for their thoughts on this distressing subject. Their personal approach was varied. Some insisted on giving their wives cash for daily purchases, while others took a different approach instead reordering all the cards in their name only. When paying, they sign add the obligatory "Mrs" to their name on the receipt. Occasionally this was met with opposition. Banks and card issuers didn't care much for this approach -- and it can cause problems for our husbands as well -- if the credit number is corrupted, the issuer can say that he somehow authorized an illegal purchase. It simply creates more problems than its worth.

The best way this is handled is to carry cash for mundane purchases while our husband's provide escort for larger purchases that require a card. This also assures that our husbands approve of the purchase. it's a win! No longer are we plagued by pesky sales people towing the corporate line under the guise of being "friendly".

It solidifies the fact that our name is really their name and we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association wouldn't want it any other way!

 

Sisterhood

 

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association cheerfully, recognize the importance of sisterhood in maintaining our husbands authority over us. We take great comfort in the fact that so many other people share our views.

We help each other remain on task. We discuss new and exciting ways of pleasing our husbands. We can discuss with equal freedom the times we stumble and fail in our lofty aspirations. We have all failed at one time to mindfully hold our tongues. We have encroached on their territory. We have spoken out of turn.

While we admit these failings we also renew a promise to try harder. To keep our homes spotless, to love our husbands without placing societal demands or restrictions on them. In return our husbands offer their respect and protection freely. We submit to our husband's authority not because we're old fashioned but because they deserve our submission.

Spring is the time of renewals and fresh starts and we applaud all our readers and fellow sisters in Stepford, who faithfully companion us on our continued journey.

 

Dining

The greatest pleasure for us at The (real) Stepford Wives Association is the joy we derive from preparing a healthful meal for our husbands and children. Each evening is a presentation of our devotion. Is every meal perfect? No, sometimes we fail to deliver a glorious meal. Sometimes the recipe just isn't very good and doesn't meet with our husband's approval. If he's not delighted, no one is.

We dog-ear that recipe and file it away. Most of our weekday concoctions are quite simple, utilizing a few ingredients. Some meals are quite simple, and we'll admit lack elegance. But we serve it to our husbands with an apology, and love. It doesn't happen too often. We add touches to simple meals, like a pleasant aioli to spoon over the vegetables.

Olive oil with infused herbs, to dip bread (fresh baked of course) or mixed with balsamic vinegar as a dressing for field greens. We do try to incorporate a bit of fresh fruit whenever possible. Like pears, blue cheese and arugula as a fun salad course.

Regardless of the meal, we always serve our husbands first, then our children, saving ourselves for last.

 

Together

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association would like send many kind and happy returns to one of our founding members. She's hosting tonight her first important business dinner. We know she'll shine in true Stepford style that she exemplifies.

This member has had more than her share of interlopers trying to undermine her happy home, but with some deep perseverance and downright Stepford tenacity she won.

Kudos to you, kudos!

 

 

A (sample) Cleaning Routine

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association always appreciate a good cleaning routine. A special thanks to our dear friend for witing this up.

These tasks are broken up into sections so lets jump in to what should be done daily.

Daily Tasks

Daily cleaning products

Daily, after the house is empty the routine begins, the swish/wipe/dust. Swish the blue stuff into the toilet (just a few drops are needed instead of covering the whole inside of the bowl, because it's done daily). Using only one wipe per bathroom, clean the sinks, the counter tops, ending with the toilet--down to the floor...Yes, just one Lysol wipe cleans two sinks, counter tops and toilet...but only if you do it everyday. Dry dusting the floors daily too. Also, another tip is instead of cleaning the whole shower daily, get a spray bottle with a little bleach mixed with water and spray the shower after it's used. Not only will that help cull mold growth but it also keeps soap scum under control. Or look for a leave on or rinse free shower spray (Method brand, available at most stores in the US) works great too. The inside of the toilet gets a few drops of toilet bowl cleaner (seriously just a few drops) a quick swish of the brush and it's done. Keep a toilet brush and holder in each bathroom of the house. We have three and half bathrooms. The whole process including dusting the floors and swishing/wiping sinks, counter tops and toilets takes two minutes per bathroom.

Dusting too, just dry dust those areas that tend to get super dusty, everything else weekly. What a concept!? One load of laundry per-day, at the very least, will help to keep the chaos away.

Dust the hardwood floors daily (no sweeping or vacuuming unless there's a spill) Wash the floors at least weekly (or more often during wetter months).

Other daily tasks include, making the beds and emptying the dishwasher...

Vacuuming bedrooms and high-traffic areas

Weekly Cleaning

Weekly cleaning products

Weekly tasks include cleaning the showers (plus the swish, wipe and dust), bathtubs, vacuuming and changing sheets. Replacing towels and dusting those areas that are only touched weekly. Even the weekly tasks do not take vary long. You could choose to do them all in a single day or you could break it up across the week.

All Day Everyday!

In the kitchen...that is a clean-as-you-go room, you make something and clean it up afterward. If you own a dishwasher, use it. If you don't, ask yourself this, is it easier to wash a few dishes (like 2) or a whole sink-full? If your answer is the first, then wash as you use them. Take and extra minute to wash that plate or bowl, fork or spoon, cup whatever you use; dry it and put it back where it belongs, this is opposed to leaving the plate in the sink all day and allowing them to pile up.

Set the table so that it's ready for the next meal.

If you believe it doesn't matter, then try washing those few dishes up after each time you dirty them.

If you do own that dishwasher, stick them inside the machine. The kitchen cleaning is not added to the daily or weekly lists because like it most houses it's a big hot spot that is cleaned/tidied up multiple times a day.

Wipe down the counter tops, close the cabinets and drawers and you might be surprised how much cleaner it feels.

Ode to the Apron

Simple for cleaning

There is something lost in time, our mothers, grandmothers (perhaps great-grandmothers) understood the importance of a good apron. They are utilitarian. They actually do serve a purpose. They protect your clothing from grease and household cleaning mishaps.

 

It seems as time passed the notion of wearing an apron became antiquated or perhaps its something deeper than that -- it hearkened to a time when women specifically were chained to their homes and spent much of their day engaged in the drudgery of cleaning.

 

The apron was a symbol of that and as many symbols, we no longer appreciate, we lose respect for and throw them away. We threw away our aprons! Tossed them aside saying, "We don't need those. We're far too liberated."

 

There is something simple that occurs when one dons an apron -- it's much like a uniform. It says you're doing a task. Our society is so different today than it was decades past. We wear anything to clean today. Clothing can be purchased relatively inexpensively (look at the racks at a Wall Mart), but we also cannot forget that our economy is different too.

 

Most of us don't have the disposable cash to replace a shirt or pants and we expect our things to last longer than a season. Yes, some people don't care if they leave the house with a grease stain on their top. Magazines pay big money for pictures of celebrities with those -- to show how much they're really like us.

 

The apron shouldn't be a sign or signal of oppression but should be something we're rather proud of...We're smart and care that we don't want our clothing ruined doing basic or not so basic cleaning chores. Today it seems the simple apron is making a comeback. People are coming back around to the idea or the purpose of the apron. It's refreshing and kinda sad that it takes an economic crash to bring around an idea that probably shouldn't have left.

 

There are many types of aprons some are better suited for cleaning, other's perhaps cooking and then there's a those frilly ones. And really those are fun -- but useless. The fabric is simply too thin and while they look cute -- dry clean only? An Apron??

 

No, it should be the kind of material that one can toss in the wash. Hot or cold water, it shouldn't matter. No one outside you're immediate family (meaning the people you live with) should see it. You're not ashamed to wear it, but really you wouldn't wear to the market. It's not a fashion statement.

 

Decades ago, a women wouldn't answer the door wearing an apron. You never invited guests into your home while wearing an apron. When you entered the kitchen the apron went on, and when you left it, you took it off to see to your guests -- and that was the rule with even the stunningly pretty frilly ones!

 

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association salute the apron!

 

Stepford Valentines

We, at The Real Stepford Wives Association are through the holiday season and onto the next holiday, specifically Valentine's Day. We set that aside to demonstrate how much we care for our husbands and families. We (really) hold zero expectations, in fact many of our husbands view the day as a grand waste of money! If you do consider that flower prices (not only roses) go up in the weeks before the holiday, it becomes easy to see how it's been manipulated. Several of our husbands refuse to participate in this. However, we do enjoy taking that day to actively show how much they mean to us.

Generally speaking we begin the day by offering our husband's a bit of oral service (how embarrassing to admit, nonetheless true) or if we are uncomfortable that way sexual service (again remembering their orgasm right). While they ready for the day we begin their (and our families breakfast. We recommend heart-shaped pancakes which are fun and bit whimsical. Red dye colors half the batch, using a cookie cutter you simply replace one with the other, a dusting of powdered sugar and your family will just adore them. Personally, my husband always smiles when I make these and while he doesn't think it's such a big deal -- he also knows it pleases me to show how important he is. In other words, he really just says its a "woman's thing" and let's it go.

Later during our special cocktail hour, he knows that he can fully expect a Manhattan.  They're festive, with a cherry and oh so yummy -- A manly drink women can share.  Perfect!  Serving on a pretty plate with some ribbons or maybe a peice of dark chocolate is a lovely touch. You can also, take a pitcher of regular martini and add a bit of red food coloring. Traditionally, champaign is served with the meal, whatever his favorite dish is. I routinely head outside (yes often in snow or freezing rain) to grill him a steak -- only the best will do. While he eats, we place the finishing touches on a red velvet cake. Just as a final demonstration of our everlasting love.

After dinner the evening remains about them, with us showering them with our devotion and attention.

Make it special, in everything you do!

Stepford New Year

Welcome 2013

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association firmly believe in making our husbands New Years Resolutions come true.  It doesn't matter what they are we make it part of our own personal ones.

If weight-loss is on their list, we provide them healthful meals.  We do not tell them how to diet.  We don't tell them, don't snack or are you really going to have chips while you watch the game?

We won't buy chips and we will provide healthful snacks.

Our resolutions are only to be better wives to them.  To exceed their expectations and love them without condition.