Monday, September 30, 2013

Cleaning

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association take cleaning very seriously. Each day we begin our cleaning routine by changing the sheets on our marital bed. Just like a favorite hotel, we change the sheets, dust the room, vacuum, fluff pillows. We launder all the towels, scrub the master bath, so it sparkles. We scrub the shower, and here's a note, if you do all this daily, the bathroom will never smell or seem dingy. We wash down the bathroom walls and wash the floor. We replace and wash any area rugs,

With the master bedroom clean, we move into the hall way, dusting and vacuuming, all the other bedrooms are tidied, dusted, sheets are cleaned, more towels washed and those bathrooms are scrubbed clean until they sparkle and shine.

Moving through the other rooms, each are dusted from top to bottom vacuumed and pillows fluffed. In heavier living spaces, like the family room, toys are stowed, everything there is dusted, floors cleaned. Our hardwood floors sparkle with a hand washing of a solution of distilled vinegar and water. It's the same thing we use on the kitchen wood cabinets. Our baseboards are cleaned along with the floors. The final touch are the appliances.

After the home is spotless, it's time to run errands for our husbands, this might include running to the dry cleaner, shopping or whatever else needs to be done. Back at home, snacks are prepared for children as they come home from school and dinner is started. A quick trip to the master bedroom to check makeup, put on a nicer dress, fix hair and appy a little lipstick. Our husbands have been stuck all day with grumpy people so we want them happy when they return home. We fix a tray that includes a favorite beverage and a light snack for them and set the dining table. Wash children's faces if they dine with us or more likely feed them ahead of time.

When they walk through the door, at the end of that difficult day, we greet them with a kiss and their beverage. We take their shoes off and put their slippers on and offer that light snack, while we put the finishing touches on dinner. They lead all conversation. We pay attention to all the details, because we see ourselves often as their home sectrary. We serve them dinner and standby for anything else they need. When they are finished eating so are we. We tidy the kitchen, wash the stove or cooktop, and sweep the floors. Some of us Stepford gals will set the breakfast table. We end the day by thanking our husbands for allowing us the blessings of serving them.

In the master bedroom,we seduce them with candes and shower them with attention to demonstrate our love. We dress in sexy lingerie and never ever come out with our faces in cold cream. We strive they never see us without makeup, and make sure they are asleep before we do any beauty regiment.

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association do this each day and everyday because we feel it's all important and one just never knows what tomorrow will bring? if a child is sick, most of our list can still be accomplished. The world stops for us if our husband isn't feeling his best.