The Buzz

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association adore the holiday season as its a time to show the men in our lives some extra attention. Our families are the only reason for the season. However, this holiday seems overshadowed with messages about "girl power". It seems in the latest Star Wars film the main character is a girl. While we would never argue that there's anything wrong with this, it seems there's a shift in our society that overlooks men.

We spend so much energy building up the female sex, we've forgotten they're only half the population. While people stand up and cheer that this character won't require rescuing by some other male character, we can't help but to feel slighted.

What's so wrong about portraying men as the leaders and protectors most naturally are? What happens to these girls when they enter the real world and learn not everything revolves around them? Or will the world continue to placate them and dupe them into thinking they're more important than men?

If not every man is fit to be called a leader, why should be assumed that any woman can do it? Why does the girl power thing need to shoved down society's throat at each turn? When will balance be restored to our society, where one gender isn't given preferential treatment over another?

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association do believe that women were made to compliment men, not rule over them. We feel it's a shame that we're made to feel less for not buying into the girl power line of thought.

 

Organizing Your Day

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe in running a home as efficiently as possible. A common question asked by those outside our group is how are our days arranged.

Early Morning

We wake up before our husbands and children do, so we can shower, dress for the day, hair styled, makeup applied. We lay out our husbands shave items and oral hygiene. Then we go into the kitchen to start coffee and make the lunches/snacks for the children. It's also a good time to get breakfast organized, table set if not done already, oven preheated, etc. Take a few extra minutes to unload the dishewasher, if you run it overnight. Make sure their backpacks are filled, and hung on the back of their chairs. Check the weather on the computer or smart phone, place jackets, hats or whatever is needed for their day. A nice touch is to warm a towel(s) in the dryer, especially on cooler mornings. One of our members has a small microwave they can use to get a wet towel piping hot for after she shaves her husband herself.

Morning Rush Hour

We think of this time, when our husband's are showering and the children are getting dressed for their day, we start or finish cooking breakfast. Again, breakfast should be organized before hand, so those blueberry muffins or waffles are piping hot when they come down to eat. Make sure that juice, coffee and everything else your husband might enjoy is beside his plate.

Send everyone on their way with smile. If you drive children to school, we suggest you tidy the kitchen before you leave the house, loading the dishwasher or sink with warm water to soak. Make sure you leave the house with your shopping list, reusuable bags and list or other items needed for errands (like dry cleaning pick-up tags).

Mid Morning

We run our errands, market, butcher, bakery or whatever is on your list to do, and hurry home to put away all the items. Start the laundry, finish the dishes and begin your other chores. Laundry, dusting vacuum the rugs, freshen sheets.

Early afternoon

Eat a smart lunch, continue tidying up, fold, iron and put away clothing. Start dinner preparations and keep an eye on the clock for the children (if you're lucky to have a school bus),, grab the keys and drive to pick up children. Come home and feed them a snack and then let them begin their homework. We like to make some muffin batter or scones for the next day's breakfast or consider biscuits for dinner.

Late Afternoon/Early Evening

Look over the children's homework and send them to play while you begin dinner. Make something festive for when your husband comes home after a hard day. It might depend on the meal. Hispanic foods you might make a pitcher of margaritas, or a more traditional steak might call for some martini, or another highball type cocktail. If your husband prefers you can fix an non-alcoholic beverage. Some of our husbands after a hard day enjoy a cool beer, glass of wine or even a refreshing glass of iced tea. Also take care that "little" things your husband might want to go with his meal are available and within reach (horseradish, sour cream, hot or steak sauces etc). It's best if he doesn't need to ask for anything.

Set the table and keep an eye on that clock. If its the cooler months, make sure the porch light is on, fireplace lit, candles or whatever. If the weather is warm, turn down the AC so it's cool enough. Have the children wash up for dinner, and take a few moments for yourself to freshen your makeup, spritz a little perfume and be ready for when your husband walks through the door.

Mid Evening

Once dinner is complete, take your husband's plate with your own to the sink, if there isn't a dessert, carry his glass to his favorite chair and do hand him the remote control for the television. If dessert is part of the meal, then offer it and let him decide if he wants it now or wishes to wait. Keep the children at the table until the meal is over or your husband dismisses them. Once the lichen duties are under control, offer to refill/refresh your husband's beverage and take the children to ready for bed. If they are engaged in conversation or engaged in watching something with him, adjust the time. During the summer months for example, bedtime for even younger children might be a little later than during the winter months. Supervise the children, bathes pajamas, teeth brushing, etc, then invite the children to say goodnight to their father. In some homes, you might alert your husband that the children are ready for bedtime, so he can listen to their prayers, or read them a story. Others might have the children quietly enter his study or home office for a goodnight pat, story or whatever. The point is to always follow your husband's lead and do whatever the way he'd like it.

Late Evening

Once the children are in bed, finish tidying the kitchen, plan the next morning's breakfast. We recommend that you set the table again for breakfast. Go over your daily and weekly tasks for the next day as well, making note of anything special you might need for the next meal. We generally keep an eye or within earshot of our husbands so they don't need to shout or come find us.

Around a half hour before they are ready bed, ready yourself for them. Change into that sexy negligee, and maybe light some candles around the room, a candlelit room can be very welcoming. The idea is to let your man kniw you're willing if they are interested. When they enter the room, offer to help them out of their clothing, and touch them lovingly.

After they are satisfied, then go clean yourself up (or even quietly finish your orgasm in the bathroom), now is the time to remove your makeup and have the bathroom ready for tomorrow morning. Try not to disturb your husband as you enter the bed, make sure alarms are set and candles are extinguished.

My Daughter Wants to be a Stepford Wife

That was the title of an email a member received recently. The person went on to berate them, because they reposted a not-to-recent post from this journal on Facebook. It led them to our journal and was the reason for the unflattering email. Why should this be an issue anyway?

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, would be pleased to have our daughters follow in our footsteps. Often we do worry they might be misled by shiny promises of becoming the next CEO or even political leader. We do not believe that women cannot be leaders, we simply believe they should not be leaders and support the men in their lives.

More and more women are learning how fulfilling allowing a man to lead can be. We have learned while we might possess many of the skill sets to be in control, we aren't comfortable being in powerful positions and crumble under the pressure. Men, we understand are much more comfortable with power, and do not crumble so easily.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly that female submission isn't horrible and being labeled a Stepford wife isn't a burden. It's what we were born to do.

Back to Basics: Pulling it Together

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, believe whole heartily in being prepared mentally and physically. Exercise, eating right, are very much part of our daily routine, whether at home or running errands. Yes, we dress for the supermarket, and wouldn't dream of leaving the house with curlers in our hair -- ok no one wears curlers anymore. We wouldn't be caught dead in our pajamas outside the bedroom.

Each Sunday we plan for the week ahead. We make our lists and pour over recipe books, we make sure clothing is clean and in good order meaning without holes or missing buttons). When we shop, we carry our reusable bags, our shopping lists and we smile as we shop, walking slowly down each aisle, interestingly enough, if it's not on our list, we don't buy it, unless it's for our husbands.

Each week make time to clean out and wash down the refrigerator and freezer, also clean the microwave oven, regular oven and clean the dishwasher, washer and dryer. Additionally tend to regular household chores, laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, changing sheets on the beds. Remember, your husband lives in a Four-Star hotel.  It should shine like one.  

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association do not believe in being just "good enough" for our husbands.  Only the best for them.   

Saint Patrick's Day

Saint Patrick's Day is a wonderful occasion to show our husbands how much we care.  It is a fun time as well to dote on them and we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association always feel that is a good thing.  

Why is Irish Soda Bread only made once a year?  In Ireland it is a daily bread.  It is easy to prepare, requires no kneading and can be dressed up or down with ease.  Traditionally, it should only have flour, baking soda, buttermilk, and salt.  What can be more simple? Brown or whole wheat flour can easily be substituted.  You can add a bit of honey, or sugar or just about anything else.  

Of course and quite naturally the star of your Saint Patrick's table should be corned beef and cabbage.  Don't forget to add some beer to the water.  It add a special zip we are sure your husband will appreciate.  Corned beef is beef that has been brined, so give it a quick rinse under cold water.  

With additions of beer and spices it is fool-proof dish.  Allow it to boil and you can finish it (to brown the edges) in the oven for a few minutes more.  

We like chunks of cabbage, so we try to cook it in the pot in halves, leaving the core intact until serving when its more easily removed and it makes for a nicer appearance.  

Stepford Style

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly that Valentine's Day is strictly for those we love -- specifically our husbands.  We routinely keep our personal expectations of the day ultra low.  We do not ever supply our husbands with wish lists from Tiffany and Co.  Or any other place.  We go the extra mile to assure their day is nice.  

In the days ahead of the holiday, we will buy our husbands a lovely card, note: a nice card, without disparaging sayings about failed household projects that are supposed to humorous.  We do not ever use any holiday or birthday for that matter to "pick" on our husbands.  It is an opportunity to demonstrate our love and desire for them, never to put them down.  

Should our husbands decide to honor us with a gift of candy or flowers (or anything else) we accept it graciously and fawn over it.  A gift you ask for is not really a gift and if our husbands decide to give one it comes from their own hearts.  That is truly the real gift.  We do not espouse to the Hallmark version of what this holiday means.  

The day traditionally begins with breakfast, and it is whatever is our husband's favorite dish we can prepare.  Yes, it can require that we get up even earlier to set out bread to rise for our incredible cinnamon pecan buns.  One in our group loves a Denver styled omelet, others have their own favorite.  Whatever it is we take pride in providing it, sometimes with a Valentine's Day flourish.  

It is a complete day of their favorites and we do whatever needed to ensure that their day is stress free. Should the holiday fall on a work day, for example, we are certain to pack a lunch for him, so he isn't bothered with trying to find a place in a restaurant.   It will include whatever he believes to be the perfect lunch, even if it means grilling a chicken breast to perfection outdoors in snow in the early morning hours so he can have a grilled chicken sandwich for lunch.  

Sometimes we will deliver the lunch to them, but only if the gesture is welcomed by them.  A nice cloth napkin, like the finest restaurant adds a personal touch.  Last year, one of our Stepford Sisters found her husband out of town on that day so she arranged room service to deliver him a proper meal when he returned to the hotel after a long day of meetings.  

Dinner again is whatever their favorite meal might be, again and it cannot be stressed enough, that it is whatever he most loves to dine.  

Spend the day doing extra special things for him,  such as cleaning his golf clubs, washing his car,  or cooking his mother's recipe for lasagna.  Nothing is too daunting for us.  Don't expect praise or recognition for whatever you do.  It is not done for that reason or a way to bounce up and down "look at me!" It is simply a gesture to show how much our husbands mean to us.  

It should be about them alone.  So if your husband enjoys a soak in the hot tub after a long day with work weary people, by all means have a towel ready for him.  Help him undress and make sure the hot tub is all ready to go.  Dinner can be held when he is ready.  

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe in making Valentine's Day extra special for the men we love, admire and who provide for us and enrich our lives.  

Back to Basics: To Do Lists

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, often look backward to help keep moving forward. In our Mothers and Grandmothers day, often certain tasks were performed on a given day of the week -- even cooking was often arranged this way. Growing up, each Wednesday was meatloaf night in our home. It was as predictable of the Sunday dinner of pot roast or roasted chicken, with a fruit pie served for dessert.

Monday's were traditionally laundry day, Tuesday's ironing and mending, etc through each week. Today we have a host of appliances that take the drudgery out of those tasks, and generally can be performed in concert with other tasks. For example, you can run the washer while you clean the bathrooms or run an errand and you aren't limited to when.

Still there are good habits we should form. One being to check your calendar on Sunday, for a quick glance, so you don't forget little Timmy has a dental appointment or Jane has tap class. Make it a habit to write down everything..

January is also the perfect time to check that you have plenty of stamps, and purchase all the birthday cards for the whole year. Yes, the whole year! Write down each birthday, anniversary on a peice of paper, and get thee to the card shop and buy them. Make note of ages or special occasions (such as your inlaws special anniversary). Also, pick up a few get well, sympathy or thinking of you note cards in a masculine style so if your husband mentions his secretary is ill, just had a baby, or has a birthday you can pull out a card. Keep in mind that all cards are really from your husband. Even the ones you send to your friends. His name always comes first. Pay attention the envelopes match the cards, and do make certain you have return address labels in his name.

When you get home arrange them by month and keep them so you can find them easily. I will usually preaddress them, or use sticky notes if I'm uncertain they might move. Now the only time a trip to the card shop is required is for those special occasions, Fathers Day and the like.

After checking the calendar, begin arranging your week accordingly and schedule everything, even cleaning or personal things like getting a manicure -- if your husband approves. Also, plan accordingly, for example you don't want to get a manicure and then scrub the shower. Each day should be filled with cooking, cleaning, shopping and whatever else is needed. Take into account other members schedules as well. Don't plan for a meal that requires hours in the kitchen on a day when you're hardly home. We further suggest you wake at least an hour before your husband rises, and use that time to ready the day for him.

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly in making each day a treasure for our husbands.

 

Back to Basics: Ode to the Shopping List

We, we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association need to reclaim lost habits that our mothers and grandmothers took for granted. This means for many of us a return to the list. At some point society dropped out of the list making, in favor of tools, like the Palm Pilot, the problem being one has to refer to it. Today the answer seems to be the smart phone.

It doesn't matter if you use a smart phone, or put pen to paper the idea of well organized list is important enough to mention. No self respecting Stepford wife would go grocery shopping without a detailed list of what to buy. Yet the shopping list isn't the beginning, but rather it falls somewhere in the middle.

First you must decide what to cook, each meal should be planned out on a daily basis. What does your family eat? Start with breakfast. If coffee is the first thing your husband reaches for or looks to be handed to him then make sure the coffee supply is sufficient. Next might be bread, eggs, flour and so forth. If orange juice is served, know how many oranges are needed for a glass of juice and buy accordingly. Or, if out of season, buy a good quality juice.

For lunchtime: Luncheon meats, can be purchased, based by the slice or by the pound. Depending on the type you buy for your family will determine the quantity. Take into account expiration dates. The most expensive food in your home is the one thrown away because it expired before it was eaten. What does your husband like on his sandwich or along side it, means taking more into account? Double check that there are extra condiments in case you run out. This includes red onion, pickles or whatever else your husband prefers.

For your dinners, plan ahead by pouring over recipes and always have a back-up plan. If you plan on making lasagna, it's just as easy to make two and freeze one for another day. know which ingredients are needed for each dish and buy accordingly. Don't assume you have dried thyme, check it. Never assume. Also take care you have enough wine, liquor for cocktails or whatever your husband prefers to imbibe in.

Desserts and snacks: Same as everything else. In our home dessert is usually reserved for the weekends, but if your family likes it, plan for it. Whatever you choose to make, make it with love and from scratch or don't bother. Great snacks also include, popcorn (you can make it yourself on the stove), nuts, dried fruits, fresh fruit, cheese, and even good quality crackers.

Following this simple idea will add more time to your week and we, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association really enjoy that idea.

 

2015

It is a new year full of new beginnings for our membership. We renewed our focus in remaining submissive to our husbands. We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association would like to thank them for continuing to guide us toward our lofty goal of female perfection.

Gentle reader, do not be put off or misled by the word perfect. Yes, it carries hefty weight, but it's never been about what we think to be perfection, but rather what our husbands view as perfection. The definition is as varied as they are. This year we resolve to be more introspect regarding our individual goals.

During the year, we will be discussing ways to make our homes more enjoyable for our husbands. We hope you'll join us in making 2015 the year for us al to become better wives and eschew what label society hangs on us and become our husband's version of perfection.

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association welcome all to 2015, and let's make it a Stepford year.