Juggling Act

 

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association have been fast coping, adjusting and learning what works in our daily lives. We decided a share a few of our new normal successes that we couldn't emphasize enough have made our lives easier. 

It had to be hubris that led us to assume that we had honed our skills to the point where handling the new normal would be a snap. Short-term, yes, as usual we had plenty of paper products (who else recalls the great toilet paper shortage?) our pantry was stocked and we had little worries. Then those first trips to the market told us a different tale. One cannot live on mayonnaise alone. People panicked and even emptied the store of even salad (which lasts roughly a week at the utmost). For a while our shopping lists were simply guides of things we might want to buy. 

Also back in March, we assumed our children were home for an extended Spring-break, and a few of us worried that the school year might be extended by a month or more, dashing long made vacation plans. Our men, working from home added another layer. They required quiet to conduct their business. Many took to basements, home offices, or even the master bedroom suite, anywhere they could do their needed work in peace. By April it became painfully aware this wasn't ending. We withhold judgement as to why, as that is not our place as women. Our husbands certainly would have handled this differently. They have kept our families safe throughout this confusing period not one person in our group has gotten this virus. 

At first we focused, almost easily so on serving up comfort meals that were probably too rich and calorie laden, but made everyone feel better. As March, turned to April, we quickly realized nothing was going back and we shifted away to more healthy meals. Marketing with haphazard lists, required us to at least mentally keep an ongoing record of meals our families enjoy, so we could switch a meal or swap an ingredient without worry. 

We needed to rearrange our schedule for cleaning more on the fly as even our children switched to distance learning on a laptop provided by their school. It was far more relaxed than usual day for them. Again our men worried about their education, some making the decision to home school or add to their lessons. Others in our group decided to wait and see what the next school year would look like before making decisions. Most of us, as of this writing, have determined to homeschool for at least the next year or so of education. This offers us the most flexibility for our children's studies. It also requires a more regulated approach to cleaning, laundering, and cooking. 

Those all-encompassing shopping lists became even more detailed. Now that store selection has improved at least in our our corner of the United States, we can plan out more meals, menus, often begin loosely on ideas become finalized in the days ahead of shopping, which is now handled differently. We at the (real) Stepford Wives Association used to run to the grocery store every few days, picking up those few needed items so our families would have access to only the freshest ingredients. Now, we have been forced to amend that, and refrain from multiple trips, but buy most of we need every two weeks or even longer. We try to purchase enough fruit and vegetables to last a good week. We have said before the most expensive food you buy is the one that is thrown away. 

Food waste cannot always be avoided but it can certainly be mitigated. 

Cleaning is difficult, many of us are in that same boat. Our men need quiet, our children require the same to do their lessons or attend a noisy classroom Zoom meeting (we had to quickly learn all these new to us services since quite obviously, we spend little time online). Will we ever return to normal? Or will this just become a new version of normal, the latest in a long line of changes we're required to adapt to? Adapt we must and nothing gives us more pleasure than serving our men and families. Noisy housework is put off, we can't run the vacuum on demand. 

Here are a few of the tips that seemed to help our group: 

• Go through the freezer and see what might need to be used (allow ample time for defrosting) 
• Go through the pantry regularly to see what you already have on hand. 
• Plan meals for the week based on those items 
• Write the meals down (breakfast, lunch and dinners) 
• Create a shopping list of extra ingredients you might need (fresh herbs, etc) 
• Make a detailed shopping list of all items needed to replenish the pantry, refrigerator, freezer
• Try to become creative with snacks (buy nuts, large hunks of cheese and cut or grate them up yourself, dried fruits to add to salads, etc) 

A final note, to limit those trips to the store and make better use of your time shopping, use up most of the items in your pantry and freezer before planning the trip to the big box warehouse or butcher shop, to replenish the supply. Keep in mind as the seasons change you will want to adjust the menu, cooler weather, warmer food. Late summer is not the time to buy 5 pounds of hotdogs or hamburger patties. 

For large meals, remember it's just as simple to double a recipe and make something that can be stored in the freezer for an easy meal, such as a baked ziti, lasagna or even chicken or veal parmesan, chili, red beans (for red beans and rice), beans and ham hocks, enchiladas, chili verde, can all be frozen and used later for whole or partial meals. Label everything carefully and check those items frequently. You'll be grateful if we are slammed with a likely second wave of this virus. 

Also remember to keep your stock on hand of basic cleaning supplies, again, if we are hit with a second wave and required to go back into total safe at home mode, you'll be grateful to already have plenty of those precious cleaning items on hand. 

We at the (real) Stepford Wives Association hope these tips assist you in better planning.  

We are still Stepford

 

It has been, as Grandma used to say, a dog's age since we updated anything to these pages. Times are different today than they were when we began our journal. We have not met since January of this year, we had a short luncheon to discuss our plans for the year, as we do each January. We set a date to meet again in March to discuss progress and tweak our agenda. The pandemic however, had other plans, and soon we were cut off from each other. As the months stretched out, one of our most vocal members kindly suggested we begin more regular updates. This idea was instantly echoed throughout the group. This might be a good way to remind us all of our purpose as members of the Stepford Wives Association. A renewal of our base tenets to support our men and families. We are now months into this ordeal, without a clear end in sight and adjusting and readjusting our lives to meet the needs. 

Many of our men began working from home when their businesses were shuttered, children began something called, "distance learning" and we were struggling. We have learned through this experience how blessed we were to have our men and children out of the home for several hours a day so that we could cook, clean and handle everything without anyone else around. Now, we're blessed differently in that we're here for a families and better able to meet their needs. 

Our men required that we wear masks almost from the start (long before communities began requiring them) and made sure we understood how to properly use them. We are convinced this advanced directive kept us and our families safe from infection. A few of our men have also determined our children will not be returning to school for the foreseeable future. Again we feel blessed that this is a viable option for us. We do believe our girls will benefit from more time at home and we can broaden their education to include more household duties. 

Our routines have altered but our commitment to our structure remains true. We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association strongly believe this will pass and we will emerge stronger because of it. 

We are Back!

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association have not abandoned our beliefs, and still thankfully exult the guidelines of true female submission. A humble servant to her husband and family who doesn't subvert his natural authority. What has occurred was a distinct shift in focus away from this "blog" and a renewed focus on what was always most important in our lives -- namely the Men we so willingly serve. Some of us share the view that the men in our life owns everything, including our clothing and are freely able to dictate what we wear. If certain colors or styles please them, or make us appear more attractive to the men in our lives, then we will wear it.

As masters of their castles, we strive to keep their homes neat, organized and always look to them for helpful suggestions to better service their ever evolving needs. We offer service to anyone they invite into their home with a smile and put as much effort into their comfort as we do our men. We believe in many ways we were purchased by our men for this purpose, with as much thought as they place on the vehicles they drive or the homes they allow us to live in. In most cases we came our father's home with very little, save for a trousseau and only if approved by him. Everything else came from our husband, maybe his family, and we gladly accept this. They continue to mold us into the women they most wish us to become. If they are religious we adopt their belief system. We do not impose anything from our previous life, beliefs or ideals our father's held, with us.

Publicly we might refer to our husband as "daddy" as both a show of respect, while acknowledging that we are much like children and rather incapable of handling certain situations without becoming emotionally involved. We hold that we are different from males, especially in this regard and seriously prone to flawed thinking as a result of it. Gladly our husbands do collectively control how our time is spent, what we are allowed to watch and how we behave. Some employ physical corrections, while others cleverly employ other methods, such as standing in a corner, or filling our mouths with honey and telling us to hold it, so we remember that while silence is preferred, but if we do speak, it should be said sweetly without trying to control or manipulate him in any way.

In conclusion, we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association remain respectful and cognizant that not everyone (especially our more zealous feminists sisters) may not agree with our base tenets of submission and servitude to the men in our lives. We respectfully agree to disagree, and to fill our mouths honey and remember that sweetness is preferred. We remain bound to our men and continue to serve them and we are grateful to them for allowing us to express our collective thoughts on matters of import here. Look for some new content as well as some older content updated with some fresh tips for gracious living.

Ask Him, Do not Tell

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe firmly in male led relationships. Our readers often send us links to other "Stepford" communities and ask for our opinion. One we girls read recently had us laughing out loud.

When asking your man for permission to do something, you actually need to ask. Not tell him, you're going to it in a sneaky way by saying something like, 'I’m considering going out, when is a good time you’d like me to be back?”'

Some women quite wrongly believe that couching a "question" with the word 'thinking' or in this case 'considering' makes it easier or softens the blow. Make no mistake that the wife really saying this, "I'm going out". The only thing she's actually asking her man is what time does she need to be back. It's sneaky and subversive, ultimately telling her man that his control only extends to what she feels comfortable with.

How should a proper Stepford Wife handle this? First there should be no emergency trips to the grocery store because a real Stepford wife has all that organized. However, lets suggest that something is wrong with an ingredient. You open that package of chicken and it smells off.

You go to your man and apologize that the chicken you got isn't safe to cook, then you ask your man what you shouid do. He might suggest that you defrost a steak instead. Don't tell him that you're going to the store, would he like you to pick something up while you're out. Again, this isn't asking, but telling him. A good Stepford Wife should ask.

If a girlfriend calls you and asks you to an afternoon of lunch and shopping, you say to her first you'll have to ask your husband.

You begin this conversation with, 'Sir, Melanie phoned about possibly going to lunch and some shopping on Saturday at 12:30pm, would it be okay?' This leaves it up to your man. He has information about who you'll be seeing when you'll be leaving where roughly you're going.

If he likes 'Melanie' and doesn't find her a negative influence, he might reply with "yes". Then you ask the follow up questions. What time would you like me home by? What shouid I eat for lunch and how much shouid I plan on spending? And then ask if you can buy anything. It's actually ok to remind him about upcoming events (like his brother's wedding), that a good sale might be useful for some purchases. In any event, you know how much you can spend on lunch, a good idea of what to order, if you can buy anything or if you're just window shopping, and what time to return home.

if he responds with "no" thank him and telephone 'Melanie' back explaining that you can't make it.

We at the (real) Stepford Wives Association do believe in humble submission to our husbands and eschew the faux submission promoted by closeted women's libbers, under the guise of pretending to be submissive. We believe in showing and demonstrating class in an increasingly lacking world.

 

The Buzz

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association adore the holiday season as its a time to show the men in our lives some extra attention. Our families are the only reason for the season. However, this holiday seems overshadowed with messages about "girl power". It seems in the latest Star Wars film the main character is a girl. While we would never argue that there's anything wrong with this, it seems there's a shift in our society that overlooks men.

We spend so much energy building up the female sex, we've forgotten they're only half the population. While people stand up and cheer that this character won't require rescuing by some other male character, we can't help but to feel slighted.

What's so wrong about portraying men as the leaders and protectors most naturally are? What happens to these girls when they enter the real world and learn not everything revolves around them? Or will the world continue to placate them and dupe them into thinking they're more important than men?

If not every man is fit to be called a leader, why should be assumed that any woman can do it? Why does the girl power thing need to shoved down society's throat at each turn? When will balance be restored to our society, where one gender isn't given preferential treatment over another?

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association do believe that women were made to compliment men, not rule over them. We feel it's a shame that we're made to feel less for not buying into the girl power line of thought.

 

Organizing Your Day

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe in running a home as efficiently as possible. A common question asked by those outside our group is how are our days arranged.

Early Morning

We wake up before our husbands and children do, so we can shower, dress for the day, hair styled, makeup applied. We lay out our husbands shave items and oral hygiene. Then we go into the kitchen to start coffee and make the lunches/snacks for the children. It's also a good time to get breakfast organized, table set if not done already, oven preheated, etc. Take a few extra minutes to unload the dishewasher, if you run it overnight. Make sure their backpacks are filled, and hung on the back of their chairs. Check the weather on the computer or smart phone, place jackets, hats or whatever is needed for their day. A nice touch is to warm a towel(s) in the dryer, especially on cooler mornings. One of our members has a small microwave they can use to get a wet towel piping hot for after she shaves her husband herself.

Morning Rush Hour

We think of this time, when our husband's are showering and the children are getting dressed for their day, we start or finish cooking breakfast. Again, breakfast should be organized before hand, so those blueberry muffins or waffles are piping hot when they come down to eat. Make sure that juice, coffee and everything else your husband might enjoy is beside his plate.

Send everyone on their way with smile. If you drive children to school, we suggest you tidy the kitchen before you leave the house, loading the dishwasher or sink with warm water to soak. Make sure you leave the house with your shopping list, reusuable bags and list or other items needed for errands (like dry cleaning pick-up tags).

Mid Morning

We run our errands, market, butcher, bakery or whatever is on your list to do, and hurry home to put away all the items. Start the laundry, finish the dishes and begin your other chores. Laundry, dusting vacuum the rugs, freshen sheets.

Early afternoon

Eat a smart lunch, continue tidying up, fold, iron and put away clothing. Start dinner preparations and keep an eye on the clock for the children (if you're lucky to have a school bus),, grab the keys and drive to pick up children. Come home and feed them a snack and then let them begin their homework. We like to make some muffin batter or scones for the next day's breakfast or consider biscuits for dinner.

Late Afternoon/Early Evening

Look over the children's homework and send them to play while you begin dinner. Make something festive for when your husband comes home after a hard day. It might depend on the meal. Hispanic foods you might make a pitcher of margaritas, or a more traditional steak might call for some martini, or another highball type cocktail. If your husband prefers you can fix an non-alcoholic beverage. Some of our husbands after a hard day enjoy a cool beer, glass of wine or even a refreshing glass of iced tea. Also take care that "little" things your husband might want to go with his meal are available and within reach (horseradish, sour cream, hot or steak sauces etc). It's best if he doesn't need to ask for anything.

Set the table and keep an eye on that clock. If its the cooler months, make sure the porch light is on, fireplace lit, candles or whatever. If the weather is warm, turn down the AC so it's cool enough. Have the children wash up for dinner, and take a few moments for yourself to freshen your makeup, spritz a little perfume and be ready for when your husband walks through the door.

Mid Evening

Once dinner is complete, take your husband's plate with your own to the sink, if there isn't a dessert, carry his glass to his favorite chair and do hand him the remote control for the television. If dessert is part of the meal, then offer it and let him decide if he wants it now or wishes to wait. Keep the children at the table until the meal is over or your husband dismisses them. Once the lichen duties are under control, offer to refill/refresh your husband's beverage and take the children to ready for bed. If they are engaged in conversation or engaged in watching something with him, adjust the time. During the summer months for example, bedtime for even younger children might be a little later than during the winter months. Supervise the children, bathes pajamas, teeth brushing, etc, then invite the children to say goodnight to their father. In some homes, you might alert your husband that the children are ready for bedtime, so he can listen to their prayers, or read them a story. Others might have the children quietly enter his study or home office for a goodnight pat, story or whatever. The point is to always follow your husband's lead and do whatever the way he'd like it.

Late Evening

Once the children are in bed, finish tidying the kitchen, plan the next morning's breakfast. We recommend that you set the table again for breakfast. Go over your daily and weekly tasks for the next day as well, making note of anything special you might need for the next meal. We generally keep an eye or within earshot of our husbands so they don't need to shout or come find us.

Around a half hour before they are ready bed, ready yourself for them. Change into that sexy negligee, and maybe light some candles around the room, a candlelit room can be very welcoming. The idea is to let your man kniw you're willing if they are interested. When they enter the room, offer to help them out of their clothing, and touch them lovingly.

After they are satisfied, then go clean yourself up (or even quietly finish your orgasm in the bathroom), now is the time to remove your makeup and have the bathroom ready for tomorrow morning. Try not to disturb your husband as you enter the bed, make sure alarms are set and candles are extinguished.

My Daughter Wants to be a Stepford Wife

That was the title of an email a member received recently. The person went on to berate them, because they reposted a not-to-recent post from this journal on Facebook. It led them to our journal and was the reason for the unflattering email. Why should this be an issue anyway?

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, would be pleased to have our daughters follow in our footsteps. Often we do worry they might be misled by shiny promises of becoming the next CEO or even political leader. We do not believe that women cannot be leaders, we simply believe they should not be leaders and support the men in their lives.

More and more women are learning how fulfilling allowing a man to lead can be. We have learned while we might possess many of the skill sets to be in control, we aren't comfortable being in powerful positions and crumble under the pressure. Men, we understand are much more comfortable with power, and do not crumble so easily.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly that female submission isn't horrible and being labeled a Stepford wife isn't a burden. It's what we were born to do.

Back to Basics: Pulling it Together

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, believe whole heartily in being prepared mentally and physically. Exercise, eating right, are very much part of our daily routine, whether at home or running errands. Yes, we dress for the supermarket, and wouldn't dream of leaving the house with curlers in our hair -- ok no one wears curlers anymore. We wouldn't be caught dead in our pajamas outside the bedroom.

Each Sunday we plan for the week ahead. We make our lists and pour over recipe books, we make sure clothing is clean and in good order meaning without holes or missing buttons). When we shop, we carry our reusable bags, our shopping lists and we smile as we shop, walking slowly down each aisle, interestingly enough, if it's not on our list, we don't buy it, unless it's for our husbands.

Each week make time to clean out and wash down the refrigerator and freezer, also clean the microwave oven, regular oven and clean the dishwasher, washer and dryer. Additionally tend to regular household chores, laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, changing sheets on the beds. Remember, your husband lives in a Four-Star hotel.  It should shine like one.  

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association do not believe in being just "good enough" for our husbands.  Only the best for them.   

Saint Patrick's Day

Saint Patrick's Day is a wonderful occasion to show our husbands how much we care.  It is a fun time as well to dote on them and we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association always feel that is a good thing.  

Why is Irish Soda Bread only made once a year?  In Ireland it is a daily bread.  It is easy to prepare, requires no kneading and can be dressed up or down with ease.  Traditionally, it should only have flour, baking soda, buttermilk, and salt.  What can be more simple? Brown or whole wheat flour can easily be substituted.  You can add a bit of honey, or sugar or just about anything else.  

Of course and quite naturally the star of your Saint Patrick's table should be corned beef and cabbage.  Don't forget to add some beer to the water.  It add a special zip we are sure your husband will appreciate.  Corned beef is beef that has been brined, so give it a quick rinse under cold water.  

With additions of beer and spices it is fool-proof dish.  Allow it to boil and you can finish it (to brown the edges) in the oven for a few minutes more.  

We like chunks of cabbage, so we try to cook it in the pot in halves, leaving the core intact until serving when its more easily removed and it makes for a nicer appearance.  

Stepford Style

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly that Valentine's Day is strictly for those we love -- specifically our husbands.  We routinely keep our personal expectations of the day ultra low.  We do not ever supply our husbands with wish lists from Tiffany and Co.  Or any other place.  We go the extra mile to assure their day is nice.  

In the days ahead of the holiday, we will buy our husbands a lovely card, note: a nice card, without disparaging sayings about failed household projects that are supposed to humorous.  We do not ever use any holiday or birthday for that matter to "pick" on our husbands.  It is an opportunity to demonstrate our love and desire for them, never to put them down.  

Should our husbands decide to honor us with a gift of candy or flowers (or anything else) we accept it graciously and fawn over it.  A gift you ask for is not really a gift and if our husbands decide to give one it comes from their own hearts.  That is truly the real gift.  We do not espouse to the Hallmark version of what this holiday means.  

The day traditionally begins with breakfast, and it is whatever is our husband's favorite dish we can prepare.  Yes, it can require that we get up even earlier to set out bread to rise for our incredible cinnamon pecan buns.  One in our group loves a Denver styled omelet, others have their own favorite.  Whatever it is we take pride in providing it, sometimes with a Valentine's Day flourish.  

It is a complete day of their favorites and we do whatever needed to ensure that their day is stress free. Should the holiday fall on a work day, for example, we are certain to pack a lunch for him, so he isn't bothered with trying to find a place in a restaurant.   It will include whatever he believes to be the perfect lunch, even if it means grilling a chicken breast to perfection outdoors in snow in the early morning hours so he can have a grilled chicken sandwich for lunch.  

Sometimes we will deliver the lunch to them, but only if the gesture is welcomed by them.  A nice cloth napkin, like the finest restaurant adds a personal touch.  Last year, one of our Stepford Sisters found her husband out of town on that day so she arranged room service to deliver him a proper meal when he returned to the hotel after a long day of meetings.  

Dinner again is whatever their favorite meal might be, again and it cannot be stressed enough, that it is whatever he most loves to dine.  

Spend the day doing extra special things for him,  such as cleaning his golf clubs, washing his car,  or cooking his mother's recipe for lasagna.  Nothing is too daunting for us.  Don't expect praise or recognition for whatever you do.  It is not done for that reason or a way to bounce up and down "look at me!" It is simply a gesture to show how much our husbands mean to us.  

It should be about them alone.  So if your husband enjoys a soak in the hot tub after a long day with work weary people, by all means have a towel ready for him.  Help him undress and make sure the hot tub is all ready to go.  Dinner can be held when he is ready.  

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe in making Valentine's Day extra special for the men we love, admire and who provide for us and enrich our lives.  

Back to Basics: To Do Lists

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, often look backward to help keep moving forward. In our Mothers and Grandmothers day, often certain tasks were performed on a given day of the week -- even cooking was often arranged this way. Growing up, each Wednesday was meatloaf night in our home. It was as predictable of the Sunday dinner of pot roast or roasted chicken, with a fruit pie served for dessert.

Monday's were traditionally laundry day, Tuesday's ironing and mending, etc through each week. Today we have a host of appliances that take the drudgery out of those tasks, and generally can be performed in concert with other tasks. For example, you can run the washer while you clean the bathrooms or run an errand and you aren't limited to when.

Still there are good habits we should form. One being to check your calendar on Sunday, for a quick glance, so you don't forget little Timmy has a dental appointment or Jane has tap class. Make it a habit to write down everything..

January is also the perfect time to check that you have plenty of stamps, and purchase all the birthday cards for the whole year. Yes, the whole year! Write down each birthday, anniversary on a peice of paper, and get thee to the card shop and buy them. Make note of ages or special occasions (such as your inlaws special anniversary). Also, pick up a few get well, sympathy or thinking of you note cards in a masculine style so if your husband mentions his secretary is ill, just had a baby, or has a birthday you can pull out a card. Keep in mind that all cards are really from your husband. Even the ones you send to your friends. His name always comes first. Pay attention the envelopes match the cards, and do make certain you have return address labels in his name.

When you get home arrange them by month and keep them so you can find them easily. I will usually preaddress them, or use sticky notes if I'm uncertain they might move. Now the only time a trip to the card shop is required is for those special occasions, Fathers Day and the like.

After checking the calendar, begin arranging your week accordingly and schedule everything, even cleaning or personal things like getting a manicure -- if your husband approves. Also, plan accordingly, for example you don't want to get a manicure and then scrub the shower. Each day should be filled with cooking, cleaning, shopping and whatever else is needed. Take into account other members schedules as well. Don't plan for a meal that requires hours in the kitchen on a day when you're hardly home. We further suggest you wake at least an hour before your husband rises, and use that time to ready the day for him.

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association believe strongly in making each day a treasure for our husbands.

 

Back to Basics: Ode to the Shopping List

We, we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association need to reclaim lost habits that our mothers and grandmothers took for granted. This means for many of us a return to the list. At some point society dropped out of the list making, in favor of tools, like the Palm Pilot, the problem being one has to refer to it. Today the answer seems to be the smart phone.

It doesn't matter if you use a smart phone, or put pen to paper the idea of well organized list is important enough to mention. No self respecting Stepford wife would go grocery shopping without a detailed list of what to buy. Yet the shopping list isn't the beginning, but rather it falls somewhere in the middle.

First you must decide what to cook, each meal should be planned out on a daily basis. What does your family eat? Start with breakfast. If coffee is the first thing your husband reaches for or looks to be handed to him then make sure the coffee supply is sufficient. Next might be bread, eggs, flour and so forth. If orange juice is served, know how many oranges are needed for a glass of juice and buy accordingly. Or, if out of season, buy a good quality juice.

For lunchtime: Luncheon meats, can be purchased, based by the slice or by the pound. Depending on the type you buy for your family will determine the quantity. Take into account expiration dates. The most expensive food in your home is the one thrown away because it expired before it was eaten. What does your husband like on his sandwich or along side it, means taking more into account? Double check that there are extra condiments in case you run out. This includes red onion, pickles or whatever else your husband prefers.

For your dinners, plan ahead by pouring over recipes and always have a back-up plan. If you plan on making lasagna, it's just as easy to make two and freeze one for another day. know which ingredients are needed for each dish and buy accordingly. Don't assume you have dried thyme, check it. Never assume. Also take care you have enough wine, liquor for cocktails or whatever your husband prefers to imbibe in.

Desserts and snacks: Same as everything else. In our home dessert is usually reserved for the weekends, but if your family likes it, plan for it. Whatever you choose to make, make it with love and from scratch or don't bother. Great snacks also include, popcorn (you can make it yourself on the stove), nuts, dried fruits, fresh fruit, cheese, and even good quality crackers.

Following this simple idea will add more time to your week and we, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association really enjoy that idea.

 

2015

It is a new year full of new beginnings for our membership. We renewed our focus in remaining submissive to our husbands. We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association would like to thank them for continuing to guide us toward our lofty goal of female perfection.

Gentle reader, do not be put off or misled by the word perfect. Yes, it carries hefty weight, but it's never been about what we think to be perfection, but rather what our husbands view as perfection. The definition is as varied as they are. This year we resolve to be more introspect regarding our individual goals.

During the year, we will be discussing ways to make our homes more enjoyable for our husbands. We hope you'll join us in making 2015 the year for us al to become better wives and eschew what label society hangs on us and become our husband's version of perfection.

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives Association welcome all to 2015, and let's make it a Stepford year.

 

Being a Stepford Wife

We, at the (real) Stepford Wives Association often discuss about being a Stepfrod Wife and how to be the best wife to our husbands. It isn't about being "perfect" but perfect for them. Being the way they wish us to behave, dress, cook and keep house. We are not a "retro" group. We do not surround ourselves with everything from the 1950s or earlier. Sure, some might wear vintage clothing. We prefer modern vacuum cleaners to the ones our Grandmothers used. Of course, hand scrubbing floors is always preferable to other meathods. A little white distilled vinegar, some warm water and your floors will sparkle. Dry the floors as you go to prevent danamge to hardwood.

Good old fashioned elbow grease is always preferable to many modern appliances.

We avoid using food processors for a good set of knives, unless absolutely necessary. However there is one item, our stand mixers and that's used frequently for all the bread, cakes and the Kitchen Aid stand mixer has many attachments, like a juicer, pasta and sausage maker. We appreciate having one good tool that can serve many purposes.

The internet has a wealth of information but if one searches "Being a Stepford Wife" aside from this place you find many blogs or websites just talk about emulating the movie -- not even the book! Wear flowery pastels because that's what the women wore in the movie and never mind if your husband hates that look!

Which brings us to the final point, if we are under their command and authority, who are we to decide what is "Stepford" enough? That's for them to dictate. They demand a clean home, a well-kept wife and mother to their children, as well as sexually satisfying for them. They want a woman to behave as a lady and not try to do his job of being a man. Our communication with our husbands is far stronger than those marriages outside our circle of Stepford. We can truly go to them for any reason at all, especially if we are feeling overwhelmed or bogged down. They empower us, by taking control. Thus placing us in the position to lift their spirits when they're stressed and provide them with love and balance they deserve.

 

Overnight Guests

We, at the (real) Stepford Wives association believe strongly in being prepared for unexpected or expected overnight guests. It is always the niceties people neglect. Sure we have all seen the ready-made "guest baskets" but how useful are they? Most are filled with single use items. We Stepford's abhor the the idea of reusing a loofa (just one of the many items always included). It makes you think twice if you stay over at a friend's home and are offered one. Or think of it this way, would you let someone else outside maybe your husband, use your loofa? Why on earth would you include one of these? Even if you are not completely certain the guest used them to shower, you still must toss them after.

 

So what does our guest list include?

 

• A water Carafe and glass (or two) The last thing you want are overnight guests bumbling around your kitchen to find a glass. Do fill the carafe, never fill the glass. Any type will do, you can certainly go fancy or keep a simple glass water bottle with a stopper atop. Some magazines (cough, cough) recommend a drop or two of food coloring as a 'treat' for guests. We do not recommend that. Should the guest spill it, it will ruin their clothing, your bedding or carpet.
• A toothbrush and travel tube of toothpaste This one might sound silly but often you can find them for free at your dentist office, sure they have the name of the dentist printed on them, but they're wrapped in plastic and welcome sight for the person who might have forgotten their own. If they don't use it, you'll know. Never, ever offer an unwrapped toothbrush, unless the guest witnesses you pulling it out of a multipack.
• Shampoo, soap, wash and a personal hand towel The soap should be wrapped up so the guest knows its unused. You can use travel size shampoos. The hand and wash towels should look different than any regular towel so the guest doesn't lose track of them!
• Bath Towels Again, special ones that won't become confused with other towels in the house, true especially if the guest must share a bathroom with other family members.
• If you know your guest is an early riser, set up coffee the night before: Yes, we prefer pressed coffee too, but your guest might not want to go through that trouble or know how it works. If they aren't the early rise types, disregard it.
• A nice large Bathrobe: Very important especially if guests are expected to share a bathroom with other family members.
• Empty Closet and/or dresser: This is a nice one, most people store extra things into closets or drawers in guest rooms. A couple games, a deck of cards, but the guest shouldn't be overwhelmed with your family's junk. If there is a writing desk in the room, supply stationary or even postcards and pens. Maybe a couple postage stamps.
• Place extra toilet paper on the tank Again you do not want your guests hunting for extra toilet paper. Sure, your family knows where it's hidden, but the guests do not. Normally, we Stepford's find it horrible but it's a welcome sight at parties -- because you never know.
• Candles, matches or flashlight and extra blankets In case of a power failure or the room becomes cooler than your guest prefers extra blankets in the closet or placed draped across the bottom of the bed is a lovely touch.
• Acquaint yourself with the guest, if possible, before they arrive so you can tailor your own items to suit their needs.
• Do enquire about dietary concerns your guest might have. Try not to offer bacon for breakfast if your guest has a history of heart disease. If the guest is completely unexpected don't worry about it or run out to try to find the British crumpets and clotted cream they mentioned briefly. People who are unexpected are usually the most forgiving.
• Do ask if they prefer coffee or tea or juice. Make sure the sugar bowl and creamer are filled -- especially if your family doesn't use it. If they are tea drinkers make sure you have fresh lemon, maybe honey available and different teas are a lovely touch

The point is, you want guests to lose the inherently awkward feelings one has when spending the night at a friend's home. You want them to feel as comfortable as possible.

 

From the Past: Gloves

Recently we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association met to catch up on the latest events in our lives. We had a lovely brunch at the home of a fellow Stepford wife and spent time discussing the journal. Eventually the subject turned to television and movies, specifically period pieces from days gone by. Shows like Downton Abbey, movies like Titanic were also mentioned.

We absolutely loath television shows and shun many films, unless it's something our husbands wish to treat us to. Otherwise we are simply too busy to engage. One item that was mentioned was a bit of etiquette surrounding gloves. it seems one of our sisters in Stepford questioned if it was considered proper to eat while wearing gloves as often seen on TV.

Absolutely not! Not ever should a lady wear gloves to eat or drink. At a dance or formal gathering a lady will remove her gloves before accepting a drink or bite to eat, better still a lady would refuse it all together. Opera length gloves should be treated as lingerie and never removed publicly seductively or as though one would do a burlesque. One would remove it discretely before being seated at the table and placed in your bag, or they could rest under your napkin, take care that it doesn't fall or slip from the spot. Some might suggest that you rest them on seat and sit on them while dining, if that can be achieved again discretely it is fine. They are returned after the meal is complete and again without fuss or flourish -- usually in the ladies room after lipstick has been reapplied. Do we need to suggest that you remove them when you use the bathroom? We shouldn't and it should be obvious why.

Different types of gloves and their purpose

Short cotton gloves are generally what one might think of an all-purpose glove. You can wear them while driving, shopping, running errands, meeting your husband for lunch, going to the movies, etc. One never wears gloves while engaged in eating, drinking, or applying makeup. These gloves may only cover the hand, usually with a pearl button at the bottom, or extend to cover the wrist entriely or partially. One never wears a ring of any type over the glove -- it's just tacky.

Lace gloves that extend slightly past the wrist are suitable for outdoor weddings, or other semi-formal events. All the rules apply.

Formal length gloves go to the just the elbow and are reserved for special occassions like social gatherings, formal dances or gala events (such as dinner with the president, a prestigious award ceremony).

Short, formal or opera length gloves are for formal occassions only and can be made from soft kid-leather, silk or satin. The length of gown one wears might provide a clue to length of glove. Tea length gown, shorter gloves, fitted longer gown formal length to the elbow. Extreme formal events opera length with a suitable gown -- it should be noted opera length goes passed the elbow, midway the upper arm -- those extending to the shoulder are passé and often considered gauche. The gloves should only be purchased in three colors, white/off white; taupe, or black. The only exception might be an opera silk or satin glove dyed to match or nicely contrast the gown. A long black glove should never be worn with light pastel dress. A white glove long or opera length can be worn to balance a black dress. In any case the gloves should be snug in fit, but not too tight they appear to cut off circulation or so loose, they gap or fall down the arm (or off the hand).

We at The (real) Stepford Wives Association do love our gloves, hats and scarves and hope to see you making the most of them also.

 

Mother's Day

Whilst many women hold high expectations about mother's day, we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association do not.  In fact, we prefer spending the day doing all the things we love, which includes doing special things for our husbands.  Let's not forget without them, we wouldn't be mother's.  Being recognized is fine for those who need it, but really when we cook, clean, do laundry we are actively showing our families how much we love and adore them.  What better way to show it than on Mother's Day?  

Husbands should honor their own mothers, just as we should.  So we do take up the task to buy a few special items for them, which are wrapped by us, some even pick up a card for their husband to sign.  Some of our husbands prefer to send flowers to their mothers (and ours) and will often have flowers sent to us as well.  Just because -- we think it's silly that they would buckle to a societal pressure but we also do not mention that to them.  

Some of us are lucky to have our mothers and fathers still with us, so when we gather to celebrate them, we try to make it something a little special.  A lovely corsage sets the right tone, a lovingly prepared meal with the flowers received as the centerpiece -- what on earth can be better than that?  Mimosa and Slo Gin Fizzes flow for our mothers and sometimes a pitcher of Bloody Mary for the men.  It is far less expensive and much more comfortable to stay home and celebrate than go for the traditional hotel brunch fare, with eggs that are like rubber and mimosa isn't even included despite the huge $$.  

Now some women reading this might laugh or feel prickles and even wonder aloud, 'who honors these women,' the question is fair.  Our husbands do honor us by allowing us to be women.  And we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association find little to be wrong with that.  

Proper Dress

We, at The (real) Stepford Wives truly adore fashion. We do not, however presume what our husbands would prefer. We discuss at length and pay close attention to any critissm they might have. For example my husband Derek absolutely hates flowery dresses or anything with ruffles, bows or lace. His friend, Paul, who's wife is also a sister in Stepford loves to dress his wife in stately clothing that's decidedly retro. Their friend Rick, prefers his wife to look ultra feminine, with flowery pastels.

We at The (real) Stepford Wives association go according to what they prefer, but above all else we conform to a certain style. We strive to be thin, because that adds to our fragile appearance. Many of us wear corsets and garter belts. There's no shame in a good girdle if your hips are larger than you wouid prefer. We exercise and take good care of ourselves, since our appearance is important and to our husbands like all men...Apperances count.

 

Points of Order

Recently, we at The (real) Stepford Wives Association, gathered together at a local restaurant to discuss our direction and how we wish to proceed. Many important items were discussed, and our readership continues to grow. We know each us receives email of new posts to our journal, so we keep up with the latest thoughts.

Our journal is not, nor was ever intended to be a how-to guide on being a Stepford Wife. We are not in the business of educating or informing the general public on how we live. We are not aligned with any type of religious doctrine or dogma. Our intent has remained consistent, this place is where we affirm our beliefs and share wisdom.

We struggled with the idea if we should allow comments from the public, while we all agreed it would be nice to hear thoughts from readers outside our circle. Yet, we all agreed that we do not wish to invite discourse or recrimination. Comments on the journal unanimously were declined.

We will continue to affirm what we all truly believe evident about our lives for ourselves and each other.

Shopping local

We at The (real) Stepford Wives believe in taking full advantage of of the bounty available of local growers. While there may be cheaper fruits, meats and vegetables available, we do not know the distance they have traveled or how long they have just sat in a warehouse. When you take the time to purchase ultra fresh locally grown you can rest assured that they're not just sitting around. Some also some sell farm fresh organic eggs, cheeses and convenience foods, so look around.   We also suggest purchasing all the fresh herbs you will use throughout the week on your large shopping day.  

Building a profession relationship with a real butcher is far better than just picking out what looks good, among the tightly wrapped in plastic offerings at the supermarket.  Your butcher, once getting to know should offer suggestions on sales or upcoming events.  Also building a reputation with a competent fish monger is another grand suggestion.  When entering such an establishment, inhale deeply.  It simply shouldn't smell like fish.  If it does, walk out because it's either not clean enough or the fish is old.  It should and often does have a mild fish odor that doesn't knock you out as you walk through the door.  Again they will and should be more than happy to alert you to specials they might offer.  Some of our husbands don't care much for farmed fish, so when the good stuff from the ocean is available our fishmonger will always alert you.  

A good bakery is another find although we prefer taking the time to bake our own special treats, they can be a point of inspiration for flavor combinations you might not have thought about.  Like adding curry powder to caramel, or cayenne pepper to chocolate.  

Always develop a good relationship with a wine steward at your finer grocers or wine shop.  Especially if you aren't sure what to serve.  The staid idea of red with meats and wine with everything else is passe, a good Stepford Wife always knows that the wine served is the one our husbands enjoy.  

A well stocked pantry is also a must, simply because one cannot always run to the market.  Baking soda, or baking powder have tight expiration dates, keep some on hand unopened if you do not use them often.  Keep a variety of vinegars, we use champagne, red wine, sherry, rice wine, good balsamic, the more traditional distilled (purchased in a huge gallon size since it's great for laundry) and apple cider vinegars.  For oils we routinely keep a good selection of canola, a few bottles of different Olive Oils, extra virgin and light that's generally used just for cooking or pan frying.  Taste your olive oil.  Some are just lovely (not to mention much more healthful) and are great for dipping bread.  Others might be best left for cooking or salad dressings.  You decide. Also keep a few cans of good quality unsalted, whole or diced tomatoes. Always purchase the best you can afford, we routinely pass on the $1 cans of Del Monte tomatoes in lieu of the more expensive and far superior can.  

This brings us to something else.  Always purchase reduced salt or unsalted items.  Americans have too much salt in our diets (nearly double of our European brothers and sisters) and we are currently one of the few countries that insist upon using corn syrup instead cane sugar in a sodas.

And yes, we too have seen the commercials proffered by the corn industry telling us that its safe (in moderation) and your body cannot discern the difference.  However, there are also numerous studies that demonstrate that corn sugars, attribute greatly to something called insulin resistance, which is the leading cause of type two diabetes.  So the commercials while technically true are being disingenuous to the threat against us.  Our husbands reminded us that studies are done by scientists and are made to be read by their peers who understand thoroughly their findings.  Not to be taken apart by lay people or those on dole of the industry featured in the study.